She was 19 years old when she stood atop the highest canal aqueduct in the world, placed her phone and keys on the floor, climbed the railing — and let go.
A group who were boating along the canal at that moment witnessed the horrifying event and will probably be haunted by it for the rest of their lives. It happened so quickly, there was no way of preventing it.
And the reason for this very young woman ending her life on that day? Her boyfriend of 6 months had recently ended their relationship, saying it would be better if they were just friends. He was also a young man and the happenings of that fateful day will, I'm sure, remain with him forever.
Of course, the likelihood is that the poor girl was already deeply troubled by life, possibly too much for her boyfriend to cope with. He too might have been struggling, as are many young people in the world right now. No one is to blame. It is just one of life's devastating stories.
The Pontcysyllte Aqueduct, located near Llangollen, North Wales, is the longest in Great Britain, as well as being (as already mentioned) the highest in the world. My partner and I have visited it three times, and it is stunning. It's difficult to comprehend that such a beautiful place has such a heartbreaking legacy.
On our first visit, one hot summer's day, I had no knowledge of this legacy. But the presence of signs on fences, walls, and gates, displaying the Samaritans' phone number, led me to question. For anyone who doesn't know, the Samaritans is an organisation that covers the UK and the Republic of Ireland. They provide a service for the desperate — a telephone helpline that can be called 24 hours a day. I know that many, many lives have been saved as a result of this voluntary service — but some slip through the net. There is no hope, they believe, and no one can help them. There is no way out of the suffering, other than this. Can you imagine feeling that exhausted and lonely? Especially when so young?
There are many other similar cases, I am incredibly sad to say, connected to this magnificent structure and stunning location.
However, you'd never know it. The walk along the canal bank is pleasant and peaceful, and during the warmer months the place is awash with happy people. Some are taking organised boat trips along the narrow stretch of water, others are canoeing or carefully steering their colourful barges between the banks.
Crossing the actual Aquaduct, especially for those with a fear of heights, is a little nerve-wracking! The path is incredibly narrow, with the canal on one side and a massive drop on the other — albeit with a railing to prevent you from tumbling into the beautiful, green abyss.
Author's own picture
People are passing along in both directions, so I press myself against the railing and take small, slow steps! The view is breathtaking — and the drop heartstopping. It must require huge courage to consciously climb over and let go. I couldn't imagine having the metaphorical balls to do that. I've never agreed with the accusation that suicide is a cowardly act. How can it be? It is an action we can never come back from. Anyone who feels desperate enough to see it through obviously believes that there is no other way… on that day… at that moment in time.
Most of us have had the experience of being crushed and overwhelmed by life. Of wanting to be unconscious, of not having to deal with this or that shit anymore. I know I have. But it is the thought of those I would leave behind, those people and animals I love and who need me, that caused me to continue and get through it. Thank God. And if only we had a way of holding tight onto the person who, in that moment, can feel and see no other way out of the pain, until it eases enough for them to feel that maybe they CAN go on, after all. Because the heat of the moment often cools, allowing us to breathe a little more freely. But if we aren't here we can't be in that place.
Thank God for those who volunteer at the 200-plus branches of the Samaritans. How many lives have they saved, how many souls have come into this world because other souls decided to stay, after all? I applaud them but am embarrassed to admit that I didn't give them much thought until I visited Pontcysyllte Aquaduct. I've been desperate — but not that desperate, I'm grateful to say. And whenever I visit that place of such beauty, with its heartbreaking back story, I say a silent prayer for those who chose it as their last place to be in this world.
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