(Nimue)
Put a shade loving houseplant that doesn't like to be damp outside in the rain, and it will suffer.Leave it out for the frosts, the slugs and getting waterlogged and it will probably die.This has been an important lesson for me this week.
I am not, just to clarify, the person who left the houseplant out to die. I'm the person who rescued the plant and brought it indoors and am trying to coax it back to life.
The thing about plants is that they have really specific needs. These include the right light levels, the kind of soil they like, how much water they need and when and how they need it. Some of them need feeding. Some need cutting back, or re-potting at certain times. Look after a plant in the way that it wants to be taken care of, and it can thrive. Ignore what it needs and it will struggle, and may well die.
People are much the same. Some of us are hardy weeds capable of thriving almost anywhere. Some of us are not. When it comes to plants, we often prize the delicate exotic ones that need a lot of care and attention. It doesn't always work the same way with people. Rather than being prized, you can find that you've been dumped in an unsuitable environment that is harmful to your very nature.
Plants need sun, soil and water to thrive, but they don't all need the same amounts of it. People have the same issues - what we need to survive is fairly similar in a broad sense, but what we need to thrive depends so much on who and how we are.
Care for people, like care for plants means taking the time to find out about those specific things. Some of us would very much like to be stood out in the rain, and some of us would be damaged by that. Some of us ripen at the first frosts and some of us wither up and die. Care has to be specific and it has to be based on a genuine understanding of who and what you are dealing with.
It's an issue for how we treat ourselves, too. You aren't a generic thing with generic needs. You're someone very specific, and will thrive in environments that support you, and struggle when you don't have exactly what you need. Putting down all those things we've been told about how we are supposed to be, and what we are supposed to want and need isn't easy. However, it's a necessary first step towards finding out who you are and what actually works for you.
And if you are a delicate houseplant I hope there's someone to bring you in out of the rain and help you dry your roots out. If you are the sort of plant that needs to spread with wild abandon, I hope there's someone to help you out of your small pot and into the space you need.
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