Unsolvable problems are a curious human construct. There are always options. Sometimes there aren't many options - as with chronic illness and bereavement, but there are always better ways of dealing with things. Managing a condition is far better than being in denial about it. Letting yourself grieve is better than just going numb. When dealing with anything natural, there's always some scope for doing it well, or in the best possible way.
The kinds of situations that don't have solutions are created by humans. Situations of abuse and torment, of control and powerlessness. It's when humans abuse power that other humans lose their scope to do things well. Slavery, concentration camps, forced labour, human trafficking - these horrors rob people of their autonomy and their scope to act.
The idea of powerlessness can rob us of the power to act. When we don't believe there are answers, we don't look for them. When we accept despair, we don't try to improve things. If it seems like there are no options at all then falling into apathy and inaction can feel protective. However, it also takes away our scope for acting, and for finding a way out.
By nature I'm stubborn. That's a trait I share with my female line. We tough things out, far beyond the point where that's sensible. Only when my grandmother had a stroke did it come to light that she'd also got water on a lung, which she'd just been living with. Determination can get you through things like nothing else will. It can also keep you stuck banging your head against problems it might be better to walk away from, or get help with. As with all things, there's a need for balance and any tool can become a liability if you aren't careful with it.
There's a huge practical difference between determination to survive and determination to thrive and I'm seeing a lot at the moment about how that works. Slogging away at things isn't always the answer. Sometimes you need a radical shift, a new way of doing things or thinking about them. Not all problems can be solved by attrition. Sometimes there's more to be had than just enduring and getting through. Finding that requires a mental shift out of survival mode and into a more expansive headspace that invites possibility.
If you've experienced a manufactured situation with no solutions, this can leave marks. I've dealt with working situations that were set up to fail, and where the asserted intention had nothing to do with the actual agenda. I've seen spaces where people were so intent on doing things in the way that they'd always done them that they risked becoming unworkable as the situation changed. I've seen leaders more interested in making people do stuff than in getting anything real done. These things can breed feelings of futility, because you can't win no matter what you do. Some people refuse to ever be pleased or satisfied, and will not accept anything as right or good enough.
However, the reality is that 'good enough' must always exist, even if people you're dealing with don't think so. Unwinnable games are made by people, they aren't inevitable. Sometimes all you can do with a situation is get out of it. Then follows the process of rebuilding how you think so that you can imagine solutions and right answers and become effective again.
I've recognised lately that a lot of my panic has its roots in historical situations where there was no way of getting anything right. So I'm asserting that I'm a competent capable person, that I can figure things out and research solutions. Usually there are answers, and ways forward, options and at least the scope for doing things with grace and compassion.
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