I work in a very busy role on the "front desk" (it's huge and spans across about 20 meters) for a Council in Perth. There are usually 3 of us here every day - myself, "Maria" and "Marie" (yes, confusing). Maria and Marie both work part time and I am the only full-time officer.
It's a tough job but I go all out to make sure I help as many people as possible every single day. I give my all. I'm a girl of absolutes so I'll either give 100% or very little. Haha. In jobs, I try my best to give 100%.
Imagine my surprise when I saw MY JOB advertised online yesterday afternoon.
I was so shocked. So hurt. Nothing had been said to me. I hadn't had a performance review or any warnings. I work so hard. Tears filled my eyes as I gave my phone to Alun "Can you check this? I think I'm getting fired, Gorg".
Alun read over it and put his arm around me.
"There will be an explanation for this" Alun assured me. He is such an optimist.
I am a pessimist and was already panicking. Because of Mom, I don't have much in my savings. How fast can I update my CV and get it out to other companies? When were they going to fire me?
Was it going to be over a text?
Every time my phone buzzed yesterday, I jumped. With my heart in my mouth and feeling the frantic beating of it thrumming in my ears, I'd unlock my phone screen and take a deep breath before hitting the messages button.
No messages from my boss so far.
Just panic.
Fear.
Anxiety.
Worry.
Lack of sleep.
I can't eat.
I'm swinging wildly between "FFS just TELL me what's going on!" and "Don't say anything, I can't bear it".
With anxiety at its peak. I messaged a friend I made in the Parks section where I'd recently been working.
"Hey Angie - do you know of any news that I might be getting fired?"
"What? No way!" she messaged back "What's set this off?"
So I sent her a screenshot of the advertisement - FOR MY JOB.
"Oh no" Angie texted "Do you feel comfortable enough to approach your boss about this?"
Nope.
I'm feeling incredibly UNCOMFORTABLE to be honest.
If this is some dirty, underhanded way of getting rid of me once they get someone else - then I want no part in it.
"Can you let me know if you hear anything on the grapevine?" I asked, wiping tears from my face.
"Will do. Take deep breaths. This is probably a mistake. You're going to be ok xx" Angie texted.
I cried myself to sleep last night. I already have Dad's 'funeral' this Sunday weighing on my mind.
Now this?
I'm getting fired?
Why?
I've gone through a lot of anger, too.
I was happy in my Parks job. THEY MOVED ME BACK to the Front Desk because good old Cupcake was moving away. So they uprooted me from my happy part-time job with a team I absolutely loved - and now they were getting rid of me?
How is this fair?
As I write to you, my phone has 'pinged' with a few text messages.
It's been almost 24 hours since I saw that ad and NO MESSAGE FROM MY BOSS.
So I'm at my work desk literally shaking in fear.
I can't go on like this.
I'm going to text a copy of the screenshot to my boss and ask her to JUST TELL ME.
I'll feel better if you do it with me.
1,2,3...Go.
Sent.
Now we wait.
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