Oh! But a lot of times the mainstream has fondly deemed the notion of holding on to something with all of our being (Tenacity) as nothing other than an epitome of a manifestation of great strength (You have to admit, there is absolute beauty in holding on to things or people out of love, it is noble to say the least). Nevertheless, as much as that is true, it is not the only way in which we as humans tend to manifest the full extent of our mental, emotional, spiritual prowess. Stick around as a share a thing or two or more:
100% I agree that there is so much (unfathomable) beauty in holding on to something (Or someone) because you have what it takes to carry yourself with sheer grit. It is not an easy feat to hold on when the winds brutally sweep by in a fashion that threatens to uproot us from the ground and sway us into the abyss, when the waves of emotion bury us into an unchartered numbness and when life serves strong us nothing but doses of gin or vodka without lime to the limit where our tongue borderlines losing taste (It is not easy). It reflects our wholeness, our undying and unwavering love for people and things when we instinctively fight tooth and nail to keep them. What better way to live than to love, than to care and to cherish the things that matter to us by fighting for them.
This fight however, is on a conscious and subconscious level, which means sometimes we might fight for things that are not good for us, perhaps they might have been good for us in the past but presently no longer hold relevance in any form now. It could be subconsciously fighting for a habit, holding on to versions of ourselves that incapable of delivering our goals and dreams, or friendships/relationships that bring more harm than good but we still hold on to them in the name of love, but is that love though?
Another form in which love will manifest itself is through letting go. A good number of us would not have much trouble holding on, the real hustle however comes in when it is time to let go. It is hard to let go because letting goes involves detachment, distancing and in extreme cases getting rid of things permanently. I believe forming an attachment can be easy as compared to detachment, no? Well, this could be a whole broad topic since we are raised differently and so have different attachment style (anxious, avoidant, disorganized and secure). However very few people have secure attachment styles which means the majority of us struggle with either holding on or letting go, in this context I focus more on the concept of letting go as a reflection of love (The strength of humans is aesthetically shown through love, there is no better way, our strength lies in our ability to love or be loved for both require bringing forth the God in us and it is not easy to be a home of the creator).
So what is it about letting go that makes it so majestic? You grow when you let go, and as we all know growth is labour (Double entendre alert) for in the work we put in to change, we give birth to new versions of ourselves which only come after tremendous efforts (Now picture a woman in labour, not an easy thing to do, shout out to all the women, you are a God's right hand in fulfilling salvation for out of women greatness is born-Look at Jesus). We let go of bad habits (chain smoking, alcoholism, nymphomaniac tendencies, lack of self-love, narcissism etc.). Those things are not very difficult to let go because they have a just cause (They kill us slowly, we all are dying everyday yes but there is no need to speed up the process, what is the rush?). However, the hardest form of letting go is when we have to let go of something that forms a big part of our identity and encompasses a big part of who we are or have known ourselves to be. What comes to mind when someone asks you who you are? How do you identify yourself? Food for thought huh, yeah take your time.
When you have found identity in things that seem to hold you back from progressing in life, could be a lifestyle (Extravagant, frivolous, chasing clout or vanity, Machiavellian…), coping mechanisms (Projection, displacement, reaction formation, silence…), affiliates (Religious groups, political, entrepreneurial), social groups (Friends, lovers…), bad habits (Self-importance, gossip, lying, laziness, which is the mother of all sins, read The Roadless Travelled, M. Scott Peck's masterpiece). These things then become difficult to let go, we live and breathe some of the notions, they fundamentally form our philosophy towards life and they are our life. We have built ourselves throughout the years to be this person and to change, it becomes cumbersome. One of the ways in which we can change is out of love (Kendrick Lamar said). You have to love yourself enough to allow yourself to go through a metamorphosis, a transformation permanently which will place you in a state where you have evolved. Either that or you have to love another so much to allow yourself to change, achieve a growth spurt and finally reach evolution. It would be insane to not change at all throughout this life, imagine from a point one is born to go on without an ounce of change (Forever being a child, at 30 being breastfed and play with yoyos), life would be unproductive, we need grow in order to progress in life and a big part of growth is rooted in our ability to let go of the old so that we create room for the new (That is love, the greatest human act and it requires effort).
And take every situation for what it is
Love is free so don't be possessive
Love is a combination of lettin' go and holdin' tight
You'll learn when to do which
And get more love than you know what to do with
Kota The Friend-For Coloured boys
Love is a combination of holding on and letting go (Kota), a timely balance between the two where you know when to hold on and when to let go. Between the two, the latter can be difficult but when achieved it also manifests great strength. Not only is strength shown in holding on but letting go as well, even greater strength is when one has the discipline to combine when to let go and when to hold on, a balance which allows us to progress in life. Letting go without holding on would leave us empty and holding on without letting go would leave us full (at the same time unfulfilled) but switching gears between the two is what love is (A twofold art).
That is all I had for you, until next time,
Take care.
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