Cigarettes, plants and bad decisions, abortions and blood stained into bedsheets
A good idea gone rogue in a moment by the chase and retreat
Words bitten off before they emerge and a sudden sense of regret
Muzzled vocals
Blended in a soup of lies and misunderstandings, part of the story heard yet not seen
The ins and outs and turns and twists confined to breakup the psyche into blisters
What feels good can't hurt you until its not good anymore
Reality doesn't touch the bedroom until someone opens and knocks on the door
I know healthy love, where is the reflection
Grasping the skin like it's what we had and reluctantly letting go
Slipping through the gaps betwixt the fingers
The truth unspilled through your conscience
Of what you are not willing to see
Freudian psychological father
Trampled dreams, plans and configurations
Infidelity nightmares of traumas past gone
Another woman looking after my baby
A tornado mess
Hell realms of purgatory
Am I that disposable?
Can you not see the beauty in the fogged up looking glass ?
Sexual ecstasy
Shaken mess, face of business, sinking under own weight of lack of friendship and holding the self entwined
You told me all these fabrications, the hair was the straw that broke the camels back
A cocktail of all you did to me, reflecting what I'm doing to myself
I will wait now for you if you choose to look at yourself and what you had done to a village girl
My heart was touched, now it is burning up
The push and pull of dumb ideas and a lack of self control
A touch of bodies barely touching in our sleep , and sanity far too late
An awkward smile all the while thinking who I am anymore
Stains on the skin that the shower can't wash, they've soaked down to bone
So much so are this tender age I feel damned
If only I felt it was safe I would walk into your arms and stroll across the beaches
The kind of shenanigans that leaks the life energy, your not wanting to live anymore
Human dimensional spiritualess spiritual
As I gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes into "me"
Drained and foolish
Yet so tightly entangled
Delusional, to make it out alive
The knowledge that gasps and quiet laughs doesn't mean we aren't gone
An addiction of love, God, that scares me still beyond.
~DiosRaw, Amber Victoria, 27/04/22
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