Dear Friends,

You may recall—although there is certainly no reason that you should—that two weeks after I began my service at Salem Church in 2013, my father died. It was the day after Labor Day that year, and Crystal and our children had gone that weekend see him, knowing that his end was near. It was a difficult visit for all of them, perhaps for our children most of all. Even so, I was glad that they had the opportunity to say goodbye to him.

My mother had died in 2008. It was a very cold week in late January-early February, and my mother's oldest sister died the morning of the same day my mother died. I went to Indiana intending to conduct my mother's funeral and ended up standing in single-digit weather for my aunt's funeral, as well. Those were two difficult days.

I conducted the funerals for both of my parents. Two weeks before she died, I had asked my mother if she wanted me to do her funeral. She told me that she did want me to do it, but that she would not ask it of me or expect me to do it. I told her that I would, that it was my honor and privilege, that it would be my last gift to her. I felt the same way about my father, when his time came. I do not recommend that anyone should conduct their parents' funerals, but it was what I wanted to do, both for them and for myself. Doing the funerals was a part of my grieving process, and I am grateful to have done them.

I hope that this does not seem morbid…that is certainly not my intent. This time of year at Salem Church always moves me to think about such things. As the liturgical year comes to its close, we move toward the old German Evangelical observance of Totenfest, which we here call Memorial Sunday. This is a time for us to remember the ones of our membership who died in the past year. We can, of course, never keep our hearts and our memories from turning to others we have known and loved and lost it the past year and in the past many years, whether members of this fellowship or not. We do remember; we always remember. And that is no bad thing.

All of those whom we have loved have played a role in creating who we are. As the Mister Rogers character says it in the recent film, "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood," we "remember those who loved us into being." Harder to keep in mind is that the ones who treated us harshly or mistreated us or whom we despise, also play a role in creating ourselves. We always have the choice about how we deal with the good memories and the hard memories, and that, too, plays a role.

Remembering the ones who loved us into being is always a good thing to do. Such remembering keeps alive a legacy of generosity and compassion. Remembering provides for us guidance and an impetus to be the best versions of ourselves for the ones whom we love into being.

Let us remember our family, our friends, the ones we have loved and lost. May our remembering be celebration. And may our celebration be all joy, this year and every year.

Grace and peace,

Tommy

 This free site is ad-supported. Learn more
​