permission for how someone can treat you...
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There’s a dangerous thing that happens when you repeatedly make exceptions for behavior you know isn’t acceptable: |
The exception stops being an exception, and starts becoming permission you’ve granted to them. |
You overlook the disrespect (again) because they’re stressed out (again). |
You accept the inconsistency (again) because they’re busy (again). |
You stay quiet about something that bothers you because you don’t want to create conflict…again. |
You tell yourself it’s “not a big deal.” |
And maybe, once, it isn’t. |
But people learn how to treat you through repetition. |
Every time something crosses your boundary and nothing happens, the boundary becomes a little less real. |
Not because people are inherently malicious… |
Because human beings adapt to what the environment allows. |
This is true in relationships. |
It’s true in friendships. |
It’s true at work. |
And it’s especially true with yourself. |
Every time you break a promise you made to yourself, lower your own expectations, or accept something you know doesn’t align with who you want to be… |
You’re teaching yourself what your standards actually are. |
Not the standards you just talk about. |
The standards you enforce. |
Remember that strong standards aren’t about becoming rigid, unforgiving, or impossible to please, they’re about becoming clear. |
Clear about what works for you, and clear about what doesn’t. |
Clear about what you’re willing to discuss, repair, and work through…and what you’re no longer willing to normalize. |
Your life will almost always rise or fall to the level of what you repeatedly allow. |
So pay attention to your exceptions. |
Some of them may quietly be becoming your new standard. |
Your coach, |
- James Michael Sama |
P.S.: If you’re looking for a private advisor to help you develop these qualities, let’s talk. |
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