If you’re addicted, you might be able to cut down the use of your drug, rather than quit. But I say might, and if you can’t just cut down, you’ll have to quit entirely or suffer the consequences of addiction. For most people who seek help for addiction, cutting down is all they want to do anyway, despite what other people want. When they say cut down, they mean different things. They could mean they won’t use their drug in circumstances that might be problematic. Or they want to switch to a less problematic drug. Or, they use less, but continue to use as often as before. Or they could mean they intend on stopping for a period of time but will resume later on. As a counselor, I can get behind any goal, just as long as it’ll work. The thing I lose patience with is when you say you want one thing when you secretly mean another. Don’t use in circumstances when it might be problematic This is often an adequate solution. It’s how people who party hard in their youth learn to moderate as they get older. But it doesn’t always work. Some people don’t exercise the self-control necessary to pull it off. They go on using, even when it might be problematic. More often, problems arise that they didn’t foresee. The guy who won’t drink when he needs to drive might still destroy his liver. The gambler has an unexpected expense. The drug user gets a bad batch. The sex addict catches a dread disease. The unexpected always finds a way to happen. Life occurs when you’re making other plans. Switching to a less problematic drug Many are successful with this strategy, except when they aren’t. When they aren’t, they find that the new drug brings problems, too. Use less each time This method seems to be the hardest to pull off. It relies on extraordinary willpower when you’re the least able to exercise it. The drinker is already half drunk when he tries to stop after three beers, and he isn’t thinking straight. The gambler is set up to chase his losses. The drug addict is starting to crash. The sex addict is just getting started. Stopping for a period of time Others employing this method will set a period of time which they think is appropriate, then they gut it out until then, sometimes fantasizing about the party they will have when it’s over. On one hand, they’re exercising a lot of self-control during their period of abstinence. Later, they can say, I did it then, so I can do it now. On the other hand, to the extent that they reward themselves for their abstinence by using their drug, it’s self-defeating. They’re only making it harder for themselves next time. Nonetheless, stopping for a period of time is the method I recommend. Even if you say you’re stopping for good, I’ll say don’t. Take it one day at a time. There’s something that happens deep within the secret mind of people. When one part says I’m quitting forever, the other part says forever is an awfully long time and reserves the right to use. I say don’t get ahead of yourself. It’s not like you can decide forever today, anyway; each day brings you a new chance to decide. Ideally, you would abstain from use until you don’t need to use anymore. You identify the problems that using solves and solve them other ways. If you drink to get up the courage to talk to people, then stop drinking until you get up the courage to talk to them without drinking. Then drink if you still want. If you gamble for the thrill, then learn to take other kinds of risks, preferably the kind that don’t put you in the hospital or in debt. If you use drugs to forget, then make peace with what you tried to forget. If sex is your way of connecting with others, then find another way to connect. Once you address the issues that bring you into addiction, addiction won’t seem so attractive anymore. It will lose its inordinate power over you, and you may be able to enjoy your drug as non-addicts do and not let it get out of hand. The drinker can enjoy the complexities of his drink, the gambler can face uncertainties, the drug user can experience an alternate reality, and the sex addict can love. You're currently a free subscriber to The Reflective Eclectic. For the full experience, upgrade your subscription.
|
No comments:
Post a Comment