To see all the bullshit stories/rants/petty grievances of Kieran’s Humor go to https://kieranhumor.com. Gazing through the warped lens of the empty whiskey glass, the Tennis Channel executive could no longer contain the anger. “You assholes promised me. You promised me, it was a good idea…” The other sports channel executives looked away in shame. This “happy hour” was a terrible idea, but the tennis exec had something else in mind.
“You, you NFL people promised you would broadcast nerf football games on the beach.” The NBA exec began to squirm. “And you… What happened to your grand plans to show 6th grade girls games played on a Little Tykes plastic hoop. The dunks will be incredible, mini-Giannis in pigtails, you said.” In the long uncomfortable silence, the MLB channel exec was the first to make eye contact, but never got the chance to speak. “Don’t start. You said in May that you were going to skip a few Cubs games and showcase a two-strike kickball tournament from Davenport, Iowa... “Here I am, the only one who followed through. “We need to attract a younger demographic, you all said. Compete with ESPN and their newfound fascination with Cornhole.” The Tennis Channel gave 6 hours on a summer Saturday to “Pickleball”. A child’s version of tennis played with a whiffle ball and a short court. They dropped coverage of several men’s and women’s professional tennis tournaments to showcase a 15-year-old girl with her paddle in San Clemente, California. “You know the worst part,” the tennis exec cried. “The worst part is the ratings went up.” “That’s great,” the ESPN exec said. “That’s exactly what happened with drunken axe throwing.” All at once, the other execs let out a chorus of obscenities and threats of shoving those axes into the most sensitive of orifices -- sharp, metal head first. If you think this is funny or worth a read, you can tell Kieran's Humor that writing has value. Pledge a future subscription. You won't be charged unless they enable payments.
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Thursday, 6 February 2025
Kids game puts tennis in a pickle
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Resources for Cheap and Free Books, Pt. 2: Something Old and Something New
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