World famous genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was waiting to cross the intersection.
Once again traffic in northeast Calgary had been brought to a halt by a Calgary Transit C-Train driver stopping to scratch his ass for 5 minutes at the Whitehorn C-Train station while flashing lights and railway poles at 3 intersections south of Whitehorn stopped east-west traffic from moving entirely while the C-Train driver scratched his ass at the Whitehorn station.
Finally the C-Train passed and was often the case when C-Train drivers stopped to scratch their ass at the Whitehorn station 🚉 for 5 minutes, a repulsive uglo on the other side of the street had arrived on the scene and was ready to cross heading in Pan's direction.
Pan immediately beheaded the uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond pieces.
One didn't have time to put up with uglos in this intense 32 degrees to 40 degrees Celsius heat wave that had been hitting Calgary the past few days.
Pan then went to the grocery supermarket to buy himself bottles of Diet Cola that were on sale.
As he waited in line at the cash register, an ugly looking bull dyke member of the Alphabet Soup Pervert Community walked past him to exit.
"This is not an Alphabet Soup Pervert Community friendly satyr," Pan shouted as he threw his astral laser machete at the ugly looking bull dyke beheading her and cutting her up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond pieces.
"You're being intolerant," the hybrid human/goat male/female bisexual androgynous freak demon Baphomet started to snivel.
"Ah, shut up, you big "woke" crybaby," the Austro-Hungarian and Bavarian demon goat Krampus kicked the hybrid goat/human male/female bisexual androgynous freak Baphomet out of the way on his way to pick up the very thinly sliced with an astral laser machete remains of the ugly looking bull dyke.
Pan then walked home only to discover that the evil Dr. Anthony Fauci and the Norse trickster god Loki had already genetically cloned the repulsive uglo that Pan had beheaded and dismembered at the intersection only minutes before.
So Pan beheaded the genetically cloned repulsive uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond pieces.
. . .
Having been paid trillions of dollars in Aztec gold by Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of darkness, night, sorcery and smoking mirrors that he intended to add to his cobra guarded collection pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow, the evil 👿 sinister demonic Irish ☘️ leprechaun 🍀 they called Mr. O' Malley hypnotized the Fallen Archangel Mephistopheles and caused him to fall into a deep sleep.
When Mephistopheles started snoring loudly, Mr. O' Malley shapeshifted into Mephistopheles.
He then appeared to Joe Biden in that form and as Mephistopheles was Joe Biden's "Lord Almighty", Mr. O' Malley said in his perfect Mephistopheles voice, "Joe, leave the race.".
"Do you really want me to, Lord?" Biden asked.
"Of course, you nincompoop," Mr. O' Malley as Mephistopheles snapped, "Now get with the program."
Joe thought that Mr. O' Malley as Mephistopheles had told him to poop 💩 his pants so he did.
. . .
"Who is Metatron?" Russian President Vladimir Putin asked his personal Russian Orthodox priest.
"He is an archangel mentioned in Jewish Kabbalistic texts and according to the Books of 2nd and 3rd Enoch (not recognized as being canonical Scripture by any Church), he was the prophet Enoch transformed into an archangel. In 3rd Enoch, he was transformed into a Lesser Yahweh," the priest answered.
"And who is Metatron really?" Putin wanted to know.
"A powerful Archdemon believed to sit on Lucifer's Inner Council of Archdemons," the priest answered, "Why do you want to know about Metatron?".
"Because he tried to kill me," Putin answered.
-A Pan Goatee tale
and vampire novel chapter
Written Sunday July 21st
2024.
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