Many people do not pay attention to the wedding vows which ends in this very clear words "for better for worse, in sickness and in health till death do us path" this clearly shows to the discerning minds that as wells as good times, rough times are an inevitable part of marriage and should be expected. It also tells us what to do when it comes, which is hang on until the end of either of your lives.
As a result of the passion, affection and promises that go into the dating process and the glitz, glamour of the wedding ceremony itself, a lot of couples go into it with very high expectations of a passion filled love story with the love of their lives who they plan to spend the rest of their lives with. While this is achievable, it doesn't mean that there won't be very serious turbulence on your journey together.
Marriage is not easy and this is the undiluted truth. How can it be? When you take two adults, with different personalities, characters, ambitions and expectations and force them into a house and expect that there will be peace all the time, that is practically impossible. Soon after marriage, life begins to happen to marriage. The kids will come with their high maintenance, the focus shifts from each other to the kids and the piling bills to be paid every month. Romance and affection begins to wane under the yoke of responsibilities.
Pressure of work and career will overwhelm the couple, it will look like every day gets more difficult. This is where the couples that fail make the biggest mistake, rather than tackle the problems, they turn on each other. Then comes the disagreements, frustration, irritation and regret for settling for your spouse. Tempers will rise at the slightest provocation, words exchanged and sometimes physical fights happen. Some will begin to look for love and attention elsewhere while comparing their situation with successful and seemingly happy marriages without recognizing the sacrifice, tolerance and endurance that the couple have invested in building the marriage.
Couples whose marriages survive are not better than the ones who get divorced or separated, the difference is that those who make it to the finish line despite the difficulties had the patience, understanding, tolerance and sacrifice required to make it work. In spite of the many challenges in marriage, it is still the best way to face life. Two heads will always be better than one, putting your heads together and facing life as a team will make the journey easier. Sharing your pains and gains, sadness and joy, cries and laughter especially in the twilight years of your life makes it easier to face the many life challenges which will inevitably confront you.
As long as there is no physical abuse, endeavor to endure, tolerate and sacrifice for a peaceful marriage. Whenever you have issues, face them squarely and put them behind you and move on. You are not perfect neither is your spouse, bearing this in mind always will help you tolerate your partner's shortcomings and forgive them when the hurt you. When it's not going the way you expect, be patient, marriage doesn't have to end for you to prove your point, it will all fall into place eventually. Your marriage is not cursed, your spouse may not be a demon, just like you, they may just be reacting to the pressure and effects of life. Be patient and try seeing things from their perspective sometimes. - Sir Stanley Ekezie
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