In Which We Abruptly Abandon the Game We Were Playing Until 20 Minutes Ago

By Feminina O'Ladybrain on July 29, 2024

Minor, never-to-be resolved spoilers for Baldur's Gate 2

Butch:

I tried to move things along. I did. I went to find Mook. On my way to find Mook, vampires. Won the fight but levels were drained, Mazzy was dead (I revived her, Minsc going off when she died was great), had to heal up and rest and then it was morning and Mook's only there at night.

"OK," thought I, "No big, I'll do another quest."

Thus, I set about gaining the services of Sir Sarles for the temple. Y'all do that? Because I want to dish on the end if you did.

Anyway, that proceeded, and, just as I got to the end bit, the sun set! "Great!" thought I, "I shall finish this then off to Mook!"

Did the last bit and found myself fucked up, level drained and, yes, fatigued. Rested and woke up….just as the sun rose.

Sigh.

This game, all games, really, need a "skip time" or "rest until" feature. If you're going to have time sensitive things, make it so I can get to that time. Even better, the whole "sit and wait" deal Cyberpunk had.

In the meantime, I must find a way to get back to night time and not lose levels.

[later]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww snap.

Says my Larian package is out for delivery!

So….what we gonna do? Keep playing BG2? Shelve it? I, as always, defer to my blogmates.

Loothound:

I have also found the resting mechanic a bit annoying. It's gratifying to see, though, that a lot of the technical/gameplay issues that this game has have more or less been fixed by more current games. It kind of makes me wonder what we'll be complaining about 20 years from now that games today are basically dropping the ball on. "Man, do you remember when most games DIDN'T have fully rendered genitals? Man, that sucked!"

Mook. Sir Sarles. I think we can see where the grand traditions of really mockable fantasy names came from.

Took another few cracks at the titanium golem, but that thing was just not going to go down. Finally invisibled Yoshimo to go steal its stuff, and was able to run away without getting beat up too badly. This game is really interesting about monsters sometimes. Oh, have a big futile fight against an essentially unkillable killer robot. No? Okay, how about some orcs. Cool, hand me my fly swatter.

The only thing I have left to do here is rescue someone from jail, but I forget where the jail cell was. Not on the map, doesn't say in the Journal (of course), so I'm wandering around battling wandering monsters in places I've already been looking for it. I'm tempted to say 'fuck it,' but Anomen really wants to rescue this girl.

Discovered a new spell called Teleportation Field or something. Looks cool. Can't wait to try it. Some of these spells are definitely not in the book, though.

Feminina:

Yes! A package from Kilkenny Ireland, out for delivery today! Now to see if the FedEx truck doesn't crash on the way.

Horrible, horrible times we live in, with so few decently rendered genitals. Siiiiiigh.

I am OK finishing 2, or setting it aside to move on. We could always come back to this later, in the home, after they've remastered the genitalia.

I haven't talked to Mook either, and I have the Sir Sarles quest but haven't done anything with it. I have been hanging out in the sewers rescuing that actor and dealing with the Unseeing Eye. There is some weird stuff in these sewers, man. I have picked up some new spells and no I can summon so many different things to help me – there was one big battle that I lost several times before I finally decided to just hang back and send wave after wave of my own summoned monsters at whatever was over there. I couldn't even see it, but they were fighting it! And winning! It was glorious. I cannot adequately express the joy of having summoned monsters do all your fighting for you.

Well, probably not all your fighting, that would eventually get boring. But it certainly worked out nicely here.

Butch:

I will buy a PS6 just for the genitals.

Don't joke about the package, man. I've been thinking all along about how many things can happen to a package in transit. That's not even getting into an irony like the FedEx man leaves it by the garage door and I don't see it and I run it over. Anything's possible, man. Anything.

Summoning is the way. Except, one time I had an earth elemental with me. He was pretty great, but he was big, and I had to cross a small bridge and he couldn't make it. Game was all "You must gather your party before-" and we're all "Dude, he can't make it. Consider us gathered." I had to rest so it got unsummoned before I could continue. I'm sure he was very embarrassed. He tried his best.

The monster thing is weird. I bumped into goblins the other day. Goblins. Like, game, why bother?

The sewers are quite extensive, aren't they? Do you think the citizens of Amn know what's going on down there when they're on the can? Probably not.

I, too, could go either way on finishing this game. I like to finish, but we've been waiting so long. But I like to finish.

I am torn.

Feminina:

I find that summoned creatures generally won't follow you through doors. I'll go in someplace, go back out and they're just waiting outside. I guess to keep you from summoning a vast army and then just all going into the Temple of Looming Badness at once?

"You can summon a vast army, but you have to do it in the same place as the combat."

Loothound:

"I will buy a PS6 just for the genitals. Don't joke about the package."

I'm just gonna leave that there.

Personally, I am in favor of moving on to 3 when it arrives. This game is good, but the antiquated graphics and interface are keeping me from really getting into it. It's like when you watch a movie with older special effects; it can still be a great movie, but the clunky effects can really make you cringe and pull you out of it. That, plus I really want to play 3.

Yeah, sewers are an interesting convention in games and movies that really don't make much sense reality wise. It gives you someplace mysterious and lawless to have things happen in that is right next to civilization, though. I imagine sitting on the can and hearing fighting sounds and mayhem through the john.

I noticed that about summoned things too, much to my dismay. What really sucks is that summoning spells can take a while, so if you have to wait until combat starts to cast them then you miss out on several rounds of your spellcasters NOT raining magical fire upon your foes. With the awesome duration that some of them have, it really reeks of missed opportuinities.

Butch:

The duration has gotten me before. I'll start to cast then, by some miracle, win a fight JUST as the mage finishes. Some poor elemental shows up all "What did I miss?"

Of course, I did that once and a fire elemental showed up, there was nothing to attack, so it attacked ME! Stupid thing all "Hey, I came to fight, I'm gonna FIGHT!"

So, BG3 it is?

Man, what did you play when graphics were like this? This WAS good graphics back in the day.

Loothound:

Yeah, elementals are temperamental. Heh. My Nalia has a magic ring that can control them, which has allowed me to avoid most of that "gotta fight something" problem. It puts her out of action for a round, while she uses the ring to establish control, but small price to pay for a reliable earth elemental on your side. That titanium golem blew it apart in 2-3 hits, though.

Yes, back in the day these were awesome graphics—just like when Jurassic Park came out those were the best graphics of the day. Awesome game, awesome film, awesome tiger (boom). When I watch Jurassic Park now, though, I just can't NOT notice the seams on the graphics, the color and lighting mismatches, and so on. Doesn't make it a worse movie in any way, but it does make it a less immersive movie.

To be clear, I don't really have an issue with the graphics in this game. I like them, they do their job quite well. It's more the gameplay mechanics and management that I find really choppy and getting in the way of my enjoyment of the game. They make it hard to really establish any momentum, especially when combined with having to reload and redo fights as often as you do.

Butch:

Fair points. I defer. Femmy?

I know how this one ends anyway.

Feminina:

That's fine, just no spoilers about the end of this one, because who knows what the future will bring? Maybe we'll come back.

Butch:

I shall not spoil.

Of course, the fedex man just drove right past my house so maybe this is a moot point.

Feminina:

Quick! Go play now! Make the universe think you don't care!

[Shouting at the sky] I personally plan to play Baldur's Gate 2 FOREVER! Maybe there are other games out there…I don't know! Frankly, I don't want to know! It's entertainment I can do without!

Butch:

It should come today! I have hockey shit tonight and tomorrow so it would sit there mocking me the way it knows it wants to!

Feminina:

Ooh, that's also a good approach.

Butch:

And Mrs. McP is working at home on Wednesday so I can't spend all the time I'll need making sure my character looks…um….just the way I want her to look. So that's another day!

Loothound:

I will be playing 2 when I get back from the gym. I haven't given up! I'm not looking forward to creating a character at all!

Butch:

Play! Play on!

I won't be playing anything cuz kids. But you play on!

Feminina:

Creating characters is the worst.

Butch:

One thing I read that the new DA game is going to have, and seriously, every game NEEDS, is the ability to change the lighting DURING CHARACTER CREATION so you can see how you'll look inside, outside, all sorts of different ways. That is SO NICE. I remember in DAI I thought I had it just so, then my character in game went into light and got these shiny lips and looked like something out of Rocky Horror and I had to start over.

I am all for the lighting thing. But, of course, that'll make it take even longer.

It's still not here.

Looty, you have yours?

Feminina:

[Shouting at the sky] I certainly hope not! What a chore that would be!

Butch:

We're probably both going to be the last stops on our drivers' run. It probably has that in the shipping instructions.

Feminina:

"LOWEST PRIORITY – CARRIER PLEASE DELAY IF THERE ARE ANY OTHER DELIVERIES TO MAKE IN THE AREA"

Butch:

"SERIOUSLY, CARRIER, YOU DESERVE A LONGER LUNCH BREAK."

Loothound:

I have returned from the gym, and there is a package. The sticker on the corner reads "Baldurs Gate 3 Big Box - PS5 USA."

I need to shower now. Talk amongst yourselves…

Butch:

I thought I heard angels singing! I did! I DID hear angels singing!

On my way home from the post office I was behind a fed ex truck. Then it went the other way. Cruel.

Loothound:

As tempting as it is to tear into this thing and start genning, I'm going to let Feminina open the package. It has her name on it, after all, and I feel like her unboxing moment will be more significant than mine would be.

P.S. - The box it comes in is top tier. It's got the reinforced, built out corners and everything. They were risking nothing on this ship, and spent the money to prove it.

Butch:

Those corners are key. How I ship my records. Spare no expense for the peoeple.

You're a better husband than I am. Amazing restraint.

Loothound:

I get you, but isn't that a little strange? For a record sleeve, the corners would be the least threatening to the album. Do they sell a box with reinforced midsides?

Thanks, but pretty low bar on the husband-fu. There's not much that Feminina genuinely anticipates and gets excited for, so when there is something I try to give it as much space as possible to happen. Then, I booby trap the garden hose.

Butch:

Yeah, I think that's a fair trade.

I still have to get Mrs. McP back for that.

Nah, record collectors are just as nuts about the sleeves, and those are just cardboard. I use these mailers specifically designed for LPs called "Mighty Music Mailers," which amuses me. Record collectors are even more batshit than other collectors, which is saying something.

I wish they had mailers for magazines. I just sold a September, 1949 issue of Sport magazine and, let me tell you, 75 year old magazines are FRAGILE. Much cutting of cardboard to make a nice little sleeve for it.

Cool magazine, though. Young Joe DiMaggio on the cover. And man, people read a lot more back then. Those articles were long and in small type. It's almost like people's attention spans are getting - OOO! Look! A bird!

Feminina:

Squirrel!

Joke's on you, I basically never use the hose. I just empty water from the dehumidifier in the basement when I need to spill something on myself.

Also, I appreciate the restraint, but if you open it now, it could be installing this afternoon…because it's probably going to be huge and that could take 6 hours. I don't mind.

Butch:

Then it's official. We install. It's on. Officially.

For you two, anyway. I'll be thinking of you when I'm at the rink.

I just got a delivery that wasn't BG3. It was wine, though, so I'll forgive it.

Loothound:

Okay, I'll run the install. We'll see what happens after that…

<<cue Jonathan Davis>>

"It's ON!"

Estimated time to install, 50 minutes. Had to ditch some things to make room. God of War, Ghostwire, Zero Dawn, and Valhalla.

Butch:

Only 50 minutes? Weren't we told this was, like 17 discs and needed forever to install?

I am already skeptical of the hype and ready to be disappointed.

Feminina:

I am ALREADY DISAPPOINTED. How good can it be if it doesn't take 4 hours to install?!

Butch:

I want my money back and it isn't even here yet!

Loothound:

I've had it in the house for an hour, and my mind isn't blown. So mid...

Two discs, and it just asked for the play disc to be inserted. So...something. I'm not going to get a chance to look at it before I have to get Youngest, that's for sure. Oh, well. My night to play, at least.

Butch:

Only two? Why did it take so long?

Grumble.

Also, did you just say "mid?"

Dude.

Loothound:

It fits the circumstances. What, are you going to judge me for being all up in here, dabbing like a motherfucker, celebrating the installation of our Lord and Saviour, Baldur's Gate 3? Heathen.

Feminina:

Ha!

Heathen indeed.

Loothound:

SEE!!!

<<Triumphant Flossing>>

Feminina:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M BLIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everything to do with this game from this moment forward is downhill.

Major disappointment.

Loothound:

YEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!

<<Orange Justice, FTW>>

Butch:

Oh come now, even I know that flossing is so 2020.

You do that the women will think you got no drip.

Which sounds a trifle obscene.

I HAVE THE GAME!!!! I'm very grateful for the cardboard bumpers because mine were beat to shit.

What is this "users interact" nonsense on the ratings? I do not interact.

Feminina:

DISAPPOINTMENT.

Butch:

I am tempted to play as a gnome. But I likely will not.

I'm thinking human female thief. I'm tired of relying on others to detect traps.

Which way are you guys leaning?

Feminina:

I'm leaning straight toward epic disappointment.

So, bard.

Butch:

Don't. Even.

We did not wait this long for bards.

Feminina:

It's going to be great, and I'm gonna love it.

Loothound:

Which ruleset is this, 5E? Maybe a Warlock, servant of an alien intelligence…

Or a halfling fighter, just to be cheeky.

Feminina:

Yeah, 5th. With, apparently, some tweaks.

"For example, the combat system is more in favour of the player than in the tabletop version, to make the game more enjoyable."

Well, thank the gods for that.

Loothound:

Well, BG2 isn't straight 2E, so no surprises there. What I'm hearing is, I can play a dragonborn…

Butch:

Do a tribute to Mazzy. Mazzy was so cool.

I'm still playing human. If I'm going to look at myself for 100 hours, I want to be a hottie.

Feminina:

Dragonborn, or a tiefling, I think.

Loothound:

I'm just kidding. I find dragonborn to be a bit ridiculous. Tieflings too, for that matter. To me part of the wonder of a D&D character is their exposure to a world ever more strange. When strange is just walking around downtown, bargaining over apples it becomes hard to have any sense of the strange and adventurous. The world is just a chaos of peoples and ways…just pinball your way through it.

Butch:

Ergo human.

And hot.