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Saturday, 6 July 2024

Cookie Fonster’s Wall of Text on Eurovision 2017 (Semifinals): The Return of Baffling Non-Qualifiers

Intro Post < 2016 Final | 2017 Semifinals | 2017 Final > Greetings from Pittsburgh! I wrote this post at home but reread it at my hotel to do finishing touches. I'm staying in this city for a weekend to meet with a couple friends I know due …
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Cookie Fonster's Wall of Text on Eurovision 2017 (Semifinals): The Return of Baffling Non-Qualifiers

By cookiefonster on July 6, 2024

Intro Post

< 2016 Final | 2017 Semifinals | 2017 Final >

Greetings from Pittsburgh! I wrote this post at home but reread it at my hotel to do finishing touches. I'm staying in this city for a weekend to meet with a couple friends I know due to Homestuck.


Introduction

Jamala's victory gave Ukraine their second opportunity to host Eurovision, and they naturally had to choose a city. Although Kyiv was clearly by far the best option, five other Ukrainian cities sent bids to host and this caused delays in announcing the host city and venue. In September 2016, UA:PBC finally decided to host Eurovision 2017 in the International Exhibition Centre in Kyiv. The city was better prepared regarding hotels than it was last time it hosted in 2005, but this was still one of the tougher contests for fans to find accommodation.

This contest featured 42 countries, the same number as 2016 but with two swapped. Portugal, who had withdrawn due to a lack of funds, returned to the contest while Bosnia withdrew due to a lack of funds. Romania, who had withdrawn in April after having a song ready, returned to the contest while Russia withdrew in April after having a song ready. That's right, this year and next year Russia would put the EBU through some of the most annoying bullshit it's ever suffered.

Eurovision 2017 is notably one of two years hosted entirely by men; the other was Eurovision 1956, with a single male host. This year was hosted by Timur Miroshnychenko (the Ukrainian Eurovision commentator since 2007) and two other dudes who are probably TV hosts or something. I was kind of hoping Timur would seem like the leader of these hosts, but instead he was relegated to the green room for most of the show. I would've thought this was because he commentated this year, but this year had substitute Ukrainian commentators.

Bad news: this year has only six native-language songs (actually five native-language songs and one native-language mistake), not counting the songs from English-speaking countries. Good news: all of the native-language songs not from the Big Five qualified this year. Bad news: this post will consist entirely of English-language songs. Good news: this means the final will have a relatively good amount of linguistic diversity, by mid-2010's standards. I watched the semifinals together with Liv with Swedish commentary (featuring Edward af Sillén and Måns Zelmerlöw), then by myself with German commentary (the usual Peter Urban) as I wrote this post.

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