RelationDigest

Wednesday, 24 July 2024

Any Day Now

Vague spoilers for Baldur's Gate 2 So I gave Gaelen Bayle or whoever his money and now vampires are trying to kill me everywhere I go in the city, so I went back into the countryside to try to help some knights imprison an ancient evil, and then Na…
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Any Day Now

By Feminina O'Ladybrain on July 24, 2024

Vague spoilers for Baldur's Gate 2

Feminina:

So I gave Gaelen Bayle or whoever his money and now vampires are trying to kill me everywhere I go in the city, so I went back into the countryside to try to help some knights imprison an ancient evil, and then Nalia's fiance showed up and kidnapped her under the pretense of law, but I don't feel like going back to the city to get her right away because of the vampires, so I picked up Mazzy instead and now I'm just waiting for her to start complaining about Hexxat but in the meantime we are ready to head into the depths to face this ancient evil, man.

We're all going to die.

Repeatedly.

Loothound:

Yeah. The "repeatedly" part is how you know that it's a game. I like Mazzy, but at this point once I get Imoen back I would have to ditch Minsc to really justify her. But, MINSC!

Nalia's fiance is the absolute worst. He was obnoxious at the father's funeral, but when he comes for Nalia he is in full privileged young man bossing mode in the most obnoxious possible way.

"Oh, is this unfair? Want to go to the authorities? I AM THE AUTHORITIES, HA-HA-HA!"

I needed Nalia to damn much to put it off, so I went after that stuff right away. Fortunately it's pretty simple.

Nevertheless,
<>
"We're all going to die."
<>

Meanwhile, Dennis Hopper is the mental projection of an aboleth.

Feminina:

Well, we knew that.

Also, his SONS are COMink. We'll all be sorry then.

Butch:

I'm starting to be happy I ditched Nalia. Even if the gnome doesn't shut up.

There's no way you ditch Minsc. MINSC!

Yeah, the whole problem with vampires is that you either side with them which is icky or they try to kill you which sucks. Can't you just go out in the day time? When in doubt, daytime. I think. I don't know. I haven't given anyone any money yet because I'm still fucking around in Trademeet.

Feminina:

Oh yeah, daytime! I lose track of time on an adventurer's schedule, but yes, walking around only in daylight is a good plan.

I ditched Minsc for a while. He gets a little on my nerves sometimes. A good guy, of course, we just need some time apart now and then.

Loothound:

His sons ARE comink! And they're going to be fuel guzzling post-apocalyptic jet skiers!

Hey, anyone else feel like Waterworld and Mad Max could exist in the same world?

See, I'm just a plain, country hyper-fighter and Minsc is my "got your back" guy. Fighter can't run in solo, you'll get surrounded and just beat on. Gotta be two fighters together. Minsc's been that guy for me since day 1, and he's damn good at it. I've just grown to love his weird shit. Also, some of the people at my work kind of remind me of Minsc.

Daytime! I just ran into a bunch of vampires in some dungeon. Gotta start keeping restoration spells on deck…

Butch:

Nah Mad Max was desert wasteland. Very Fallout.

I now will imagine all your coworkers carrying hamsters around.

Loothound:

Yeah, but the entire globe of Mad Max universe can't be desert wasteland. Without global travel, people's known worlds become pretty small. Somewhere on that globe could be an ocean that's got heavy Waterworld vibes. Sorry, this is my headcanon now. Kevin Costner's fish hybrid deal could meet and fight the Mel Gibson Mad Max (nothing against the Hardy one).

One of my coworkers does sometimes carry around a stuffed avocado. It has magnets in its hands, so occasionally you find it hanging from whiteboards and doorframes.

Butch:

A stuffed avocado…..

Is it named Boo?

Minsc is pretty great. Too bad you don't have Aerie. He's taken her on as his new witch, so every time her health gets low he goes nuts.

Loothound:

No, its name is…I should probably know what its name is. She'd possibly be upset that I can't remember it. Something awkward, kind of like Minsc actually. To be technically accurate, though, it's an avocado CAT.

Butch:

I had a thought about the actual game we're playing last night, something that's been bugging me.

I don't know what voices you're using for your characters, but mine, when I pick something up and I don't have a slot in my pack for it, he goes "I cannot carry any more. I had to put YOUR ITEM on the ground." (emphasis mine).

Your item.

In that moment, it seems that my character is talking to me, the player.

I don't like that. It's weird. I can't think of another time in games something did that. It's also unnecessary. "I can't carry any more" would've done it.

It's a small thing, but it's really weird. Do your characters do that?

Loothound:

Yep, and those are almost the exact words he uses. I get you—kind of breaks the fourth wall and makes you step back and go "wait, who am I in this scenario?" Although, I do give the game props for having each companion have a different way of saying "I'm full." I overheard one of Feminina's say something to the effect of "there's a limit to what I will carry for you."

Vampires. So many vampires…

Feminina:

Ah, that's Hexxat. "I am strong, but there's a limit to how much I will carry on your behalf."

I assumed they're talking to the PC, though, not to me as the player. "Your item" is just "something you wanted to loot, because you're the only person in the world who cares about loot apparently."

Butch:

Right. When an NPC says "Your item," I assume said NPC is talking to my character. When my character says it…hmm.

I haven't played in a while so all y'all fight them vampires. I should probably forge ahead in the main story. But there are these two feuding families in Trademeet…I'm sure Imoen is fine.

In other BG news, have you gotten any update on our supposedly-shipping discs?

Feminina:

Oh, when your CHARACTER says it. I guess I haven't noticed mine saying that, but true, it's an odd thing to hear.

No update on the discs.

Maybe they'll be here tomorrow!

Butch:

Keep going with that reverse psychology on the universe!

It will probably come the day I leave on vacation.

Loothound:

See, now that you've said that…

Butch:

I blame myself.

I'll get my due. I'll come back and it'll be

Me: Phew! Finally starting. Where are you guys?
You guys: We've done 19 chapters and banged 27 people!

Feminina:

"Of course, that's actually the same 3 chapters repeatedly because we keep deciding to redo things because there are so many tacky Jersey Shore romance options."

Loothound:

"Tacky Jersey Shore romance options."

Magical.

Butch:

True.

Or it will be

Me: Phew! What did I miss?
Femmy: I've done the same chapter three times and banged 27 people.
Looty: Nothing. I'm still making sure my character looks just the way I want. The jaw line alone took me four days. I'll be done by November, probably.

Loothound:

If the customization options are as advertised, then that may not be far off…

Heh. Probably I'll make something solid and basic to start playing with, then experiment with the creator on the side. I wouldn't want to get slowed down that much, but I also wouldn't want a chance to see how good the creator is. There's this custom D&D mini company that has a free customizable model that you can just play with. I've spent an embarrassing amount of time fiddling with that thing.

One of these days I'll suck it up and just buy something.

Feminina:

I'm sure you will! As soon as it's absolutely perfect in every way.

Anytime now.

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