Continued from https://pdlionunlimited.wordpress.com/2024/06/12/will-she-take-my-love-for-granted-2/ For many people, love is nothing more than a good feeling. When they say, "I love you," they actually mean, "I feel good around you or when I think o…
For many people, love is nothing more than a good feeling. When they say, "I love you," they actually mean, "I feel good around you or when I think of you" or "You stimulate my sexual desires when I look at or think of you." So, when people say,"What's love got to do with anything?" or "Love is not necessary for a successful marriage or home," you need to be sure of how they define love so that you can be careful how you consider or apply that.
In order to be able to even consider loving, you need to capture a clear definition of love.
2Tim 2:5 And if a man also strive for masteries, [yet] is he not crowned, except he strive lawfully. [KJV]
2Tim 2:5 If a man takes part in a competition he does not get the crown if he has not kept the rules. [BBE]
In order to be able to obey the rules, you have to know the rules. In the same vein, in order to be able to love, you have to understand what love is. As Bishop Oyedepo said, in order to find something, you have to define it. As I quoted in my book, 'To Date or Not to Date,' "love is doing what is right for the object of your affection in the light of eternity no matter the cost." This is how Jesus loved us. He did everything considering what was good for us in the light of eternity, and even when the cost of it was his own life, He was not deterred. And he did it knowing the possibility exists that we would not respond appropriately to his love and might even take it for granted. He knew all the risks yet he went ahead.
Heb 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of [our] faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
The chance of having us as his brothers was part of the joy that Jesus considered as he hung on the cross. Having us at his side for eternity, to him, was worth the price of his life, as well as his death. As you know, the Bible teaches us that the love between Christ and the Church is like that between a man and his wife. This means that in all that we do, we should seek to love our wives as Christ loves His own wife, the church. And how does He love us? Fully, without reservation, sacrificially, whether we respond positively or not. Even when we take him or his love for granted, it doesn't change how he loves us. This, sir, is how we are to love our own wives.
There is also the side of the fact that familiarity breeds contempt. I assume that you have heard that statement made before. What it means is that when you become used to something, you start to lose value for it. In this context, that loss of value would translate to a loss of respect for the gift of love that you are committed to giving. But because you cannot see into the mind of your wife, it might come across to you as though she is taking your love for granted. In order to help the situation, the best thing is not to get hurt or offended, but rather find ways to make it easier for her to appreciate the love that you have for her and respect you for it.
Daniel Oyanna is a conference speaker on relationships, health, faith and other subjects and a Pastor and teacher blessed by God with a grace to make things easy to understand. He is the author of the book To Date or Not to Date, Instructions in Submission, Crushing the Crushers, several mini-books most of which are free. He started UnLimited to help people reach their God-given goals by walking with them to their finish line. He is reachable at pd_lionunlimited@yahoo.com
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