On Mother's Day, I was leaving Gayaza to return home when I greeted my mom and wished her a happy holiday. In response, she reciprocated by saying "you too". However, when I protested that I wasn't actually a parent myself, she pointed out that in fact - as the aunt of Jude and Gabby -I indeed played an important parenting role in their lives even if it were just for short whiles at a time. Until then, this realization had never occurred to me given our brief hours spent together before they went back into the care of their own parents.
I've been debating whether or not to write today, as the topic is sensitive and personal. I'm unsure if I have a right to weigh in on it. This hesitation carries over into my tendency against offering unsolicited advice - after all, life itself remains our greatest teacher and none of us are perfect.
Source: Pixabay
Parenting involves offering unconditional love. Similar to life, there is no guidebook on how to parent effectively as it can be unforeseeable and atypical in nature. Even though perfect parents do not exist, being a good one includes actively participating in your child's life by attentively listening, providing guidance and support while imparting fundamental lifeskills apart from solely paying bills for them financially.
Growing up, my mom made sure that I lacked nothing and as a result, I felt very privileged. It seemed to be something she wished for me and in my experience, every generation of parents wants their children to have what they themselves did not have while growing up. Personally though, all I ever wanted was her presence - don't get me wrong though; within the limits of her capacity at the time she gave it everything she had but unfortunately it just wasn't enough for me or didn't come through quite how I needed it to. Now as an aspiring parent myself ,my greatest desire is simply to be there for my own child --to fill them with love support each day such that when need arises... l will always be first port of call.
My mind and heart are locked in a constant struggle over the decision to have children. I worry that my abilities as a caregiver may not be adequate for raising another person, and the thought of possibly contributing to their emotional struggles terrifies me.
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