RelationDigest

Wednesday, 26 June 2024

Panic Button (poem)

I hate this feeling It's growing It's familiar The type of anxiety that makes me breathless I can't breathe I'm gonna dieOh god this is a panic attack An anxiety attack I don't knowMy body is attacking itself I can't breathe Lately it's just been growin…
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Panic Button (poem)

By chinadolli on June 26, 2024

I hate this feeling
It's growing
It's familiar
The type of anxiety that makes me breathless
I can't breathe
I'm gonna die
Oh god this is a panic attack
An anxiety attack
I don't know
My body is attacking itself
I can't breathe
Lately it's just been growing and growing
And I'll shove it down deep inside the pit of my stomach
But oh it's there
And a piece of me smarts and dies
Everytime I try to hide it
Should I smile
Should I behave?
Should I contain all of my feminine rage?
Do I disengage?
Do I release the beast inside myself
This feels like wrath
And a heart attack
Are these all things you have felt?

Is this a manifestation of over doing things?
Am I burnt out?
Have i reached my limit
Have I let you people go too far?
Searching me like an encyclopedia
Search engine me and all my lives and names
Google my love life
My address
My gateway to fame
Search up my favorite color
I guarantee it's lame
Do you want to creep into my room?
Would you like me to leak all of my nudes?
Don't you know by now, not everything is about you....
What is it that compels you to ready
When I am not someone you even see?

You know too much and yet

I am not someone you really know
I'm not the person you knew
I am not here to entertain
don't do
Don't do anything
This isn't real
You should all walk away and heal
Cause watching me and waiting will drive you insane...

I've moved on, but I listen to some things
It doesn't mean anything
It doesn't mean I want a reality
I treat it the way it is
A game and nothing more
No...

But you...
You were never there for me when I needed you
You weren't a good friend to me
You pretended to love me
But if you did, you wouldn't have done what you've done

Yet if you warn me
Of such things, you better have a good reason...
You better mean it...

You were right about that one that one time... But that doesn't mean this will be the same
So be careful what you do...
Be careful what you try to say...

But no...

I had enough of this game...
So much so I need to walk away...
You need to walk away

I had enough...
Just go away...

If you don't have a legitimate reason
For calling my name
Then it's goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye

Just go away.

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