On April 23, Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focus Therapy, sadly passed away. She had an essential influence on couples therapy. One of her key findings for secure attachment is the bonding conversation. That is an interaction where one person can open up, reach for the other person, and share vulnerabilities, needs and fears in a way that pulls the other person close. Most fights are not about the content of the fight (money, parenting, housework, sex, etc.) but about feeling unheard, unseen, and disconnected. Our human biology is wired for connection. Here is how a bonding conversation looks.
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