The absolutely most stressful part of most powerlifting competitions takes place a couple of months before stepping onto the platform, and that is the moment registration opens. The registration process isn't usually a problem for a really large event like Westerns, because there is not a cap on the number of participants. For smaller competitions though, and especially ones located in the population dense area of my province, it is quite normal for a competition to reach its' participant quota within 5 minutes of opening registration. Every time I want to enter one of those competitions, my heart starts beating loud and hard in my chest beginning the minute before registration opens and continues until well after I have submitted my entry form. This is exactly what happened last night as I waited to register for a meet. I successfully submitted my entry form within 2 minutes of registration opening, and the meet was full only a minute or two later! It's crazy how quickly the meets fill up, but I am really happy to have made it in.
This meet is at the end of July, so 11 weeks less a day from today, and it feels as if I have a long way to go to prepare for competition. I haven't exactly been feeling great for a while, not since Westerns two months ago. The body hasn't been physically happy or comfortable with more aches and pains than normal, high levels of fatigue and less energy, fingernails peeling, and nerve pains not quite as tolerable as usual. Mentally and emotionally I have been feeling unmotivated and uninspired, blah and disinterested, and restless. With the increased aches and pains, gym training hasn't been progressing the way it should. I have skipped a couple of workouts. I have skipped exercises or cut them short. My coach made some changes to the program to see if that would help settle the body down, and I appreciate that but also find it discouraging as the changes make it seem as if I am stuck in limbo. So as much as I was hoping to do this July competition, the last few weeks have had me questioning the wisdom of doing it and doubtful that I could.
Then last week my coach posed a question, asking if I had a current high, hard goal. I always have a list of goals that I am striving towards, but I knew that his question wasn't asking about my goals to finish projects around the house or try new things or make a daily gratitude list for the entire year. Those are goals, but they aren't the sort of goal my coach was asking about. As I have been chewing on that conversation over the course of the week, I am seeing more clearly how much I thrive on having a high, hard goal. I left Westerns feeling kind of blah. I think I have felt that way after a lot of races or competitions, and I have probably always assumed it was just the normal coming down from the high of competition. With Westerns, I did come home with covid, so that was also a factor for a while. However, I think that the lack of a new hard goal kept me feeling disconnected and adrift. As much as I love and enjoy competing, it is the process of preparing for competition that really keeps me focused and purpose-filled.
It is easy to look back on all of the challenges and struggles of the past 6.5 years since herniating a disc, so I sometimes lose sight of my athletic life in the years prior to that injury. The truth is that challenge and struggle has always been a part of my athletic life, and I could probably guarantee the same is true for any athlete! I cannot think of a single prep period, whether for a running race or a powerlifting meet, that has been smooth and perfect. There has been lots of pain, even before the disc injury. There has been fatigue and low energy. There have been doubts and injuries and obstacles in my way. Not every competition or race was perfect, but I was proud of every effort and result. And here's the thing...growth doesn't take place in competition but in the act of training every day for weeks or months. We may experience a growth or learning moment in competition, but the real growth comes from putting in the hard work, from banging your head against the wall of the obstacles in your path, from pushing through the tough times. Those days, weeks, months can be extremely tough but also extremely rewarding. We learn how to listen to our bodies and how to talk to ourselves. We learn how to persevere. When we make it through a tough workout, we feel encouraged and motivated to push through the next one. When we see our small victories in training, we feel joy and learn to trust the process. We become faster or stronger, not only because of our training but also because our confidence grows. Yes, I love competing, but I really do love the prep.
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