Recently, I mentioned to a mid-thirties male friend that my debut romance novel, Love Later, was published.
He said "I'd love to read it." And with a laugh, I added the disclaimer "it's kind of 'chic-lit'"
He grimaced. "Don't disparage it like that. I love all things romance."
His statement got me thinking. To my chagrin, I was being sexist. When, in fact, there are men who enjoy romance.
However, somewhere along humanity's journey, society created an absurd unwritten declaration that real men should enjoy reading nothing related to romance. But, perhaps because they're insecure or fearful of being bullied, they're hard-pressed to admit it.
Unfiltered lust, porn grit and the like are fine. But the gentle romantic gestures that often lead to love. Nope!
And despite how much we're evolving, in subtle ways, we continue to perpetuate the myth.
Parents will read about pirates, dragons, superheroes, and cowboys to their little boys, but love, rainbows, and happily ever after, probably not.
And because boys grow up believing that fluff stuff is for girls, when they reach the age for girls to enter their lives, they have very little clue about what even independent self-sufficient ladies want.
I'm not talking about men showing brute force prowess, slaying monsters and saving the weak, distressed female.
I am referring to gestures that show they care. And exposes the raw vulnerability of men, highlighting their need for tenderness.
Men are human. Humans have emotions. Let's normalize males displaying their soft side. Getting caught up in some mushiness, that's not only about the end-result—a heated roll in the hay!
It's another way to teach men aggression, dominance, and ego-driven machoism are not attractive attributes.
I want us to make gentle leading men who bring flowers, write love notes, offer sweet affection, lament a broken heart, as appealing as superheros.
By encouraging men to read and write romance novels with pride and enjoyment—without the labels chick-lit and women's literature—we might create more equality, harmony and empathy that bridge the genders.
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