I am lactose-intolerant, which means I cannot eat large amounts of dairy. I became vegan when I was in high school, so I haven't had dairy since. I remember growing up and cheese and ice cream were my go-to foods, and they were so delicious. Going to the grocery store and getting a large tub of vanilla Blue Bell was the highlight of my childhood. Digging into Haagen-Daas ice cream while watching a movie was heaven. And Chuck-E-Cheese? I wasn't a fan of the animatronic mouse and his fellow buddies (especially after Five Nights at Freddy's came out. I haven't seen it, but I don't want to anytime soon) but I loved me some cheese pizza with cake and ice cream to go with it.
However, every good thing comes with a cost, and my stomach paid a huge cost from not being able to digest all this delicious dairy. I remember in fifth grade, a really nice girl invited me to her birthday party, and we went out to Cici's Pizza for dinner. My mouth watered, and I ended up getting multiple slices of pizza and enjoying each one. Cici's was the ultimate cheese party for me as a kid. Growing up in the South during the early 90s and 2000s, there definitely weren't as many vegan hot-spots or options at restaurants as there are now, so I had to eat what I could on my pescetarian diet, which consisted of a lot of fish, eggs and dairy. I downed those slices of pizza, and I was fine on the drive home. However, about thirty minutes later a loud grumbling sound issued from the depths of my stomach. I groaned. Not now, stomach. We got ready for bed, and my stomach growled even louder.
"Are you hungry?" one of the girls asked me with a worried look on her face.
I tried to manage a smile while trying to not make my stomach growl anymore. But it wouldn't listen; it let out another loud grumbling sound.
"No, I'm fine, seriously," I said.
"But your stomach keeps making those growly sounds," she said.
"I promise, I'm fine."
I wish that experience was a cautionary tale for me, but after that I continued to eat ice cream, Little Caesars, and other food products of bovines. However, my stomach still continued to suffer and scream out to me that it was in pain, and that I should stop eating dairy once and for all. Finally, in my freshman year, I decided it wasn't worth the stomach aches and the embarrassing flatulence to continue enjoying dairy, so I decided to go vegan. I would occasionally cheat and eat stuff with dairy now and then, but it has been a while since I've had a slice of Papa John's or had a date with Dreyer's. Because there are so many great lactose-free options available. I feel quite spoiled when I go to Starbucks and can order a drink with oat, soy, coconut or almond milk (although as a former barista, there were some drinks that definitely didn't do well with non-dairy milk. I once tried to make the Unicorn Frappuccino with coconut milk, and it tasted terrible.) The only issue was traveling abroad and knowing that I could not drink the regular chai when I went to India in 2016. Honestly, I could have let my friend give me her lactose pills so I could enjoy all the chai, burfi and paneer to my heart (and stomach's) content. But I chose to brave it out and sacrifice a cup a day of fresh hot chai from the stalls to save my stomach, and it was hard, but at least when I was studying at the university, we had a really wonderful lady who made vegan options, so I made it through the trip pretty ok. Except of course when we rode Air France. I felt bad for asking the flight attendant about the vegan meal because they only had so many meal options, but one plus was that when we were in the Charles de Gaulle airport, I went to a stall, and they had a kale and tofu bowl. And man, was it delicious.
So, do I miss dairy? Sometimes, but I think I only miss it because I associate it with my childhood. As a child, I loved me some Kraft cheddar cheese. I could dig into Paciugo's mint chocolate chip gelato like it was nobody's business. Movie theater nachos with lots and lots of Velveeta cheese? Sign me up. Red Barron cheese pizza and curly fries for lunch in the cafeteria every Friday? Yes, ma'am! But now I have so many options that don't involve dairy, and that's something I need to appreciate. I can appreciate those memories of going to California Pizza Kitchen, Cheesecake Factory and IHOP as, well, memories.
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