mindful scrolling and freeing ourselves from judgment

ansharihbasri

April 3

so i try paying attention when i'm scrolling through YouTube or other forms of "mindless" scrolling:

i notice that the "slot machine" effect part—that is, the illusion that i'll hit a jackpot at any moment—isn't actually that significant;

what's more gripping is the weirdly soothing act of letting my mind loose, as the flow of the scroll won't let me linger too much on a particular object in front of me.

in other words, it is quite a genuinely good coping mechanism for overthinking.

sure, it's not a "productive" act by industrial standards, but from a less judgmental perspective, it's actually a much better thing than hurting the mind with its intrusive thoughts.

now, of course eyes-closed, do-nothing meditation seems like a "healthier" alternative, but if we scroll "mindfully"—as in, being fully aware that no, i don't want to watch anything in particular, and view my scrolling thumb as just another form of moving meditation such as walking meditation—would there be that much difference?

this "scrolling meditation" can also help me practice paying attention to what i'm feeling and let that guide me what to do: for example, when i see a thumbnail of some video that catches my sight, i pause and ask myself: what is it about this thumbnail that catches my interest? do i really want to see this? if so, why? does it look like it'll make me laugh (and why not? isn't laughing a good thing?) or does it possibly contain a useful insight for my current problem? or does it look like it could just distract my uncomfortable thoughts away? if none of those, can we move on?

seeing people scrolling through their phones might not be the prettiest sight, but if we were to be just a little bit less judgmental about them, we'll realize that it can be quite a "good" thing—in that they can find a source of laughter, insight, or a relief from an unbearable headspace.

it's the same thing with all kinds of "addiction": drinking, smoking, binge-eating;

their succumbing to the act isn't a sign of weakness, but of struggle, a will, even, to keep on living—for had they had given up, they would've gone for, i don't know, a suicide perhaps.

our job as part of the supporting community—or, more often, as a company to our own damaged self—is to give ourselves space and free ourselves from aggravating judgment,

and with it, slowly work on what could be done (or undone) to make ourselves

feel whole,

again.