High School Reunion Survival Tips

Rosa Castro Psy.D

April 15

You just found out that your old High School is having a reunion, and you are unsure how to process this. Now, depending on how many years ago you graduated from High School, the anticipation can run the gamut from excitement to dread. For the super popular High School kids, reunions can be a fun ride into the old memory lane. For the wall flowers or the teenage acne sufferers, it can be a severe anxiety-producing ordeal.

Why would anyone want to return to their reunion after decades of not dealing with the past? For starters, your curiosity is piqued regarding the present lives of the star athlete, prom queen, your nemesis, or your secret pseudo-psycho-looking crush that got away. Regardless of your reasons, attending a reunion can be daunting for some, and if you are unprepared, it can leave you quite disappointed. However, before completely giving up on the idea of attending, here are some things to reflect upon:

You feel worried about being judged over your extreme changes, such as weight gain, hair loss, etc. The truth is that almost everyone has gained some weight or had some physical change of some type, even if they are hiding behind plastic surgery or loads of makeup.
You have had a rough life after high school and have some regrets you wish to keep to yourself. Many folks have experienced some loss of some type or another. Don't judge yourself for not living the perfect lifestyle.
People expected you to be successful since you were so popular; however, you are not, so you feel embarrassed. Being popular in High School does not dictate how your life will turn out. Be easy on yourself and stop worrying about how others perceive you.
You lack the youthful body and looks you used to be admired for in High School. Few will recognize you due to the significant changes you have physically undergone. Unless you got plastic surgery, chances are you will look different today than you did back in High School, but so will your classmates.
You are nervous about-facing folks who bullied or mistreated you in High School. You are not the fearful teenager who got bullied or laughed at, and if you still are, I guarantee there is always someone who will have your back because bullying is not as socially acceptable as it was when you were a teenager.
You did poorly and are afraid folks will still judge you based on your high school performance. High School is only one part of your life; you are not just who you were in High School, and if some folks view you that way, it means they are stuck and haven't grown up.
You are not married or have any kids like many of your High School friends, so you feel left out and different now. You are not the only single person, and I bet some married folks may be more miserable than you.
You are gay, yet back in High School, you were known as the lady's-man or the girl all guys wanted. Be happy as you are, and stop worrying about the limited-minded set of those who are intolerant.
You led a criminal life and did jail time and are entirely mortified. Stuff happens, and I bet you are not the only one who indulged in scandalous activities; I bet some did and just avoided jail time.
You are hoping to run into your old crush. A word of advice: that personality you adored in High School has grown up and has had life experiences that may have altered how they used to be.
You are simply curious about old friends. Curiosity is normal and healthy. I think visiting old friends is a hoot, so enjoy yourself.

Regardless of your concerns or worries, the fact is, you are not alone. I guarantee a few folks are thinking the same way as you are. The best thing to do is simply revisit the historical foundations of your life with an open mind and no premature judgment.

Recommended reading

The following book gives you an insight into how the writer, Susan Allen Toth, manages to tackle the task of attending her High School Reunion

How to Prepare for Your High School Reunion – Midlife Musings