Some people argue men don't like drama. Is this entirely true?
Two months ago, Susan Winter brought up a topic that bothers many people: Why do some men claim not to want drama but are attracted to such endeavors?
To understand why this happens, we must comprehend how attachment styles play a role in these dynamics. The answer is: It's not you, it's them.
Bear in mind that being a good partner will never be a threat to someone, despite internal insecurities, and will remain in your dynamic to work things out. However, do not demonize these folks.
Remember, if you are getting to know or even in a relationship with a man or woman with an avoidant or fearful-avoidant attachment style, you can be a great communicator or have your entire act together. Those characteristics will trigger your love interest or partner and their insecurities projected onto you.
To relieve their discomfort, they will return to what is familiar - aka - nasty women or men. Someone lesser in every aspect when compared to you, someone who will be so preoccupied with themselves and their social media persona that your partner will never worry about showing who they are.
Also, add into this mix enmesh or overbearing origin families with no emotional boundaries. These family dynamics are too often the cause of disastrous intimate relationships because they cannot stand the idea of losing their children to somebody else. It is an insidious competition where the partners of these adult children will lose because loyalty to the original families will always come first.
It's not ok. It's violent and abusive.
Do not doubt your worth. Do not downplay who you are to fit a narrow world. Do not be the shell of what you are meant to be.
With love,
Alexandra
Artwork: Anna Ferrie
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