One of my favorite tech youtubers just got introduced to the "Red Pill" the hard way. I follow this guy because of his tech reviews online. He seemed to be doing fairly successful. His content was about Virtual Reality and VR news. I got the impression that he was straightforward family type of guy. He ocassionally mentioned his wife's or kid's reaction to certain VR technologies that he was reviewing, but never talked about relationships.
I recently saw him on another podcast talking about how his wife just left him for another guy she met on Social Media. At first, I didn't recognize him but thought I knew him from somewhere. As he was telling his story, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy. In essence, his wife started an affair with someone and decided to leave him and their children for this new guy. They were married for 9 years. He laid out the harrowing details of how she basically grew cold towards him over time. How he found out about the guy and how she promised that it was really nothing. How she gaslit him into feeling insecure about not wanting her to continue talking to this guy. How she ended up leaving for a weekend with the guy despite his protests. She left him with the kids despite him begging and pleading (making all of the mistakes). He even let her talk to the kids on the phone while she was gone because they were worried about her. This story really triggered me because I basically went through the same thing. It seems that one of the biggest things that guys like us experience is that we're blindsided when it happens to us.
I tend to believe his side of the story because of the similarities between what happened between me and STBXW. He talks of how they didn't have any major issues in the marriage. Simply based on his subscriber and view count, I'm pretty sure that he was making decent money on YT. He talked about how he used to get up every morning, go into town, and get her favorite coffee....even days he didn't have to go into town. He talked about how much he loved and adored her and how proud he was of his family. I believe it.
The podcast has been making it's round in RedPill circuits and different creators have been discussing it over the past few days. The real story lies in the comments where there are hundreds if not thousands of men saying that this either happened to them or someone they know. It joked in one of the comments that this is like a "me too" movement up in here.
Some guys call him a 'simp' for being so "in love" with any woman and others, more sympathetic discuss what are the best steps in moving forward. Despite having different takes on the situation, it seems that most agree that it's not good for a man to give his heart completely over to a woman.
It seems that in today's society, Family Guys, those men considered "nice guys" seem to be getting the raw end of the stick in marriage and relationships. They are the ones being left for dead and cheated on despite trying to do the right thing by these women. Not even joking, but it seems that the worst thing that a man can do these days is to be that loving, attentive husband that women say that they want.
I am willing to accept the fact that maybe we didn't get the memo that you gotta sometimes be an asshole and do fucked up shit. But the thing that really irks me is that of ALL the mistakes you can make with a woman, the WORST one is treating her too nicely? I honestly believe that this is worse for the relationship than cheating, getting emotional and shoving her, or being mentally or financially abusive. It's worse than dishonesty or poor communication.
You always hear stories of women 'enduring' the worst behavior of men and the only reason they leave is either because he wouldn't stop or she finally gets enough of his bullshit. In the black community, it isn't uncommon to hear of men dropping her off at work in her car, coming home and playing Playstation all day or just hanging out on the corner. They may cheat from time to time. They don't communicate well. They won't commit to her. They make promises and break them. They're in and out of jail. They drink too much. They have other kids out of wedlock. Like they do the most abhorrent things and yet someone has to either tell her to leave him alone or she has to somehow find the strength to "know her worth" and it's still a struggle to leave them alone.
Yet still, it seems like when she finds a man who's biggest flaw is that he "loves her too much", then that's where they draw the line. They have no problems with leaving or cheating in the worst possible ways.
It's like we're living in Bizarro land and nobody told us this shit. Then they want to gaslight the hell out of us when we point it out.
Not gonna lie, it seems that I get more 'act right' out of women when I am nonchalant towards them. I really don't have to act though. I really feel that in my heart. Maybe I haven't met one yet that I really want "like that" since STBXW.
I will admit that recently, I got this woman's number who I was really attracted to and felt more attraction once she gave it to me. The idea of taking her out had my heart racing and I remember thinking to myself that this isn't a good sign. Yeah taking numbers is a numbers game and I knew there was a risk that she'd flake on me. She did, but it's like I felt an energy change when I caught myself feeling 'that way' about her. It seems that in these days, actually being 'excited' about a woman is a bad omen.
In a way, I knew that I couldn't give my old lover my heart like that. I think the only reason we lasted that long was because I always sincerely felt that I could walk away. I didn't chase her too hard and if she pulled away, instead of chasing, i'd stand on my square and continue where I was going....with or without her.
Stories like the YouTuber and guys in the comments sections and mine all lead me to believe that actually 'falling in love' is a curse. There are still times where I do fantasize about finding that perfect woman who I'm attracted to, she's attracted back, we have chemistry, compatibility, and we just 'get' each other. But then I go back and think to myself that "being in love" with her back would doom the relationship. That's a helluva a catch-22. Why wouldn't I be in love with her if she possessed those qualities? Who wants to be in a situation where you really want to be, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Besides, I do like being single and not having to worry about if that witch is gonna cheat or simply change up on me. I like not having the pressure of feeling like I have to perform or change or whatever because I'm afraid of losing her. One of the worst, but best things about the WAY that STBXW left is that I realize that she isn't really a good woman to begin with, so I'm not losing out on much. But before then, I did feel a niggling pressure to be.....Idk, perfect. I was so afraid of losing her.
I remain skeptical of that fairy tale love story. I think it's probably best to not be completely closed off to it and allow for the possibility. Unfortunately though, this could prove to be a weakness. The odds are highly against almost everyone looking at this point. Perhaps the best thing to do this day in age is become as attractive as possible, get with the women that I can, and not fall in love with any one in particular.
Their lack of loyalty and instable emotions just make it a better bet to not bet on them for ever. "She's never yours, it's just your turn" seems to be the best piece of advice I've received as advice for this modern dating market.
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