Take-a-Break

dawnfanshawe

February 27

FMF: RESPITE

17:20

The word respite took me straight to a specific time and place in my life – that of the blessing of occasional respite care for my mother.

Let me explain:

Mammy had early-onset Alzheimers. She received her diagnosis in her early 50s and was already just turned 60 when we moved her in to live with us.

It was a momentous undertaking for all of us – for mum to leave her beloved Orkney Island home; for my husband and children to have this needy stranger suddenly living with them; and for me, to become a full-time carer for a mother that I felt had rejected me.

It was a sacrifice and a privilege that I am grateful to have accepted.

However, as anyone who has been a carer knows, one needs to be super-careful not to overdo it!!! When one is looking after another 24/7, one tends to forget to look after oneself.

I was caring for my mother, but still had to attend to my husband and 2 young teenagers! There was little energy enough for them, so self-care was neglected.

This is when I discovered the benefits of respite care.

Respite care means taking a break from caring, while the person you care for is looked after by someone else. It lets you take time out to look after yourself and helps stop you becoming exhausted and run down.

The dictionary describes it as RESPITE: 'a short period of rest or relief from something difficult or unpleasant'. But I describe those breaks from caring as necessary breathing spaces for sanity to resume, for me to see my children and myself uninterrupted; time to go away for a few days together and do the sorts of things we used to take for granted, like camping, hill-walking, or meals out, without constant risk-assessment and stress.

Of course the word comes from 'respire', which means 'to breathe'. It also has an archaic meaning which is equally relevant here – 'to recover hope, courage, or strength after a time of difficulty'.

Jesus invited me to take frequent respite with Him.

He invited me to come to Him, casting off my cares and leaving them in His care; resting in His loving embrace; resting in His Peace. He knows that when I do this I too will recover hope, courage and strength in my daily experiences and battles.

He invites all of His children to come to Him and receive His peace and that turbo-charge that we often so desperately need!

Respite care at that time of being a full-time carer, was a real God-send for me. For Mammy it was mixed; sometimes she would be delighted to meet people and equally delighted simply to see us come to fetch her home again, whence she immediately forgot where she had been; at other times she would spend the time away feeling abandoned and grumpy.

But for my sanity and ability to care - and therefore ultimately for Mammy's well-being too, we used respite care whenever we could afford to just take a break by ourselves.

We would resume caring refreshed and appreciative of Mammy and of each other.

To read a little more on our dementia journey and the book we published, read in https://dawnfanshawe.wordpress.com/books-2/

If you would like a copy of the book, message me and I'll give you options of how best to purchase it, according to where you live.