Christianity has basically become a cuss word, I won't even use it to describe myself, I just say 'Jesus follower' and keep it that because most people should be offended when told that the way they live their life is wrong in comparison to the next guy. This common complaint among church is huge and lends to the biggest gripe about Christianity, the hypocrisy. But what I have seen to be the real issue, is dismissal, because unless you play by the same hierarchy as the world through performance and building alliances, you are deemed expendable in most church communities. Nobody's really addressing what comes before hypocrisy; the dismissing of anybody who has a story that is still in process and doesn't look good enough on the outside. Maybe their behavior is suspect maybe their language, their attitude, or the things that play out in their life give reference to a foothold or a struggle, but that doesn't mean that what goes on behind closed doors isn't a deep realization of their pain while in the presence of the Lord.
In my own story people questioned my salvation for a good 10 years as I outwardly remained stuck in my survival from childhood, but that's because I brought all of my inward baggage into salvation with me. We all do, which is why deliverance is needed and then inner healing unfolds as sanctification when we choose to recover from messages that nurtured our personality away from a loving Savior. Silence and submissive shyness is a by-product of being conditioned through control and is evidence that healing is needed for one to exchange reputation from the family for who God says one is.
So basically, "you can't judge a book by its cover", applies to the way people look on the outside because if they have the ability to do the hard work of recovery from their childhood, most likely, it will expose flaws in religious activity as well. And the dismissal of somebody who doesn't play well with others in public is a further quieting and stunting of that persons expression in adulthood, so why would they engage? If they escaped mistreatment and silencing in their childhood homes, most likely they're not gonna have the gumption to play those church games in adulthood because it is still survival of the fittest.
The anecdote is to turn inward and discover the strength that comes through self leadership connected to the counsel of Holy Spirit so the inward negative parts can relax. That inner awareness lends to authenticity where words are found to express one's truth without fear of punishment from anyone on the outside.
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