This article will focus on that brief moment of bliss called orgasm; that moment when peace, love, justice, ecstasy, liberation, creativity – ultimate freedom and feeling of being Divine take over….for that is the power of the orgasm, one which can be utilized to bring forth healing and expansion. Of course, there are many people who instead may feel shame, guilt, etc, right after they orgasm. Usually, that is the result of erroneous programming, lack of wholistic sexual education, lack of knowing themselves psychologically, or the result of an impure motivation. Please understand in Tantra, we don't call pure what most see as normal or conventional – these can be part of it for some, but it is not the rule for all--we call pure something that is born out of love, the desire to love and be loved, to connect. To Tantra what is impure is when the motivation is based on duty, shackles, fear, imposition, low self-esteem, desire to run away from getting to know your own self, manipulation, the violation, use or abuse of another human being – for none of that can be born out of love but out of wounds or a low-level consciousness.
At that moment of orgasm, your wind energies or etheric energies brush what we call your central channels, which are the energetic core of your life force. In Eastern science, the energy body is considered senior and more important than the physical body, meaning our energy body is what holds the physical body together – all illness and all wellness will manifest first physically before it does energetically; this is why neuroscience, as well as psychology and philosophy, agree that constant discipline of repetition over a pattern you may want to change for your benefit, needs to be constantly enforced for at least 90 days before it starts to reflect on your energy. This method is what is used in most educational systems, behavioral movements, and unfortunately dogmatic groups – ultimately it is a great technique, but you have to be willing to use it to serve you, not the other way around; for our energy body like any energy is neutral, it can serve you towards releasing shackles, opening your mind and heart (expansion) or as within many cults, you can become a servant of it….the choice is yours.
At the moment of orgasms, the moving pranas allow us a glimpse of illumination—a taste of what that feels like. Most glimpse at it but don't understand it because they are robotically engaged in their sexuality – most seek the high, the release of tension, but have not ever been educated as to the powerful healing and expanding power of the orgasm. At the moment they orgasm instead of channeling their energy inwards (which does not stop them from releasing tension), they discharge all that power. Most of us aren't taught when channeling the orgasm one not only increases the high, but aligns the mind, body, and soul – this results in a feeling of ecstasy which then brings forth small breaks of illumination; as coherency is the fundamental core needed for it – coherency is the alignment of the physical, mental, spiritual and ethereal – it is the unifying, the balancing of the yin and yang, or the light and shadow- only then illumination can take place. Perhaps now you can understand better why Tanta, as well as many ancient eastern philosophies, have never sought to degrade or cage the body or the mind, nor to eradicate the shadow….you cannot be a whole being by cutting aspects of yourself – you cannot be a free butterfly by severing a wing. Unfortunately, in the name of "normalcy" and false "virtuosity," rigidity has blocked one of the most powerful energies offered by the Divine to us. Similarly, self-abuse and false rebellion promoted by extremist modern movements only lead to the same results…no extreme can provide balance; as such, no extreme can lead to the freeing of the spirit, the releasing of shackles, the communion with the Divine within and without…no extreme can lead to illumination, only to the subjugation or degradation of a human being.
Tantra challenges dogma, for it says it is not animalistic to seek, desire, enjoy, and submerge in the orgasm—let us not confuse degradation with natural desire. Instead, Tantra says it is of an animal rigid mind to see the orgasm as the enemy, and it is usually those who see it that way who approach sexuality from an empty, rigid, or superficial place – born out of shame. The orgasm is so innately desirable because whether the individual consciously understands it or not, at that moment, one recognizes his or her natural inherent nature and birthright…ultimate bliss. Tantra says, this is your nature, ultimate communion with the divine, unity of mind body, and soul, peace, strength, grounded self-assurance, and the feeling of being capable of achieving anything – "What good is it to get on your knees to talk to the Divine when you blame your whole being and punish it? Can an ant reach the heights of an eagle? - You are born from the ultimate force, the Divine. Only when you free yourself from the shackles imposed will the Divine casts its eyes on you, for like recognizes like"
To start, let's talk about the brain: The primal brain, the mammalian brain, and the prefrontal cortex.
The Primal brain, known as the reptilian brain, lies at the stem or paleocortex region of the brain. This part of the brain controls our fight-and-flight response and basic functions such as eating and reproduction.
The Mammalian brain is the limbic brain. This brain deals with love, understanding, and connection. In Tantra, we call it the mating brain, for it is designed and in charge of satisfying the needs for reproduction of the reptilian brain but in a more in-depth manner.
The Prefrontal Cortex allows us the ability to discern, make choices, and rationalize, but in Tantra, we also call it the lying and deceptive brain. Although it is a marvelous tool for rationalizing, it can subjugate itself to dogmatic thinking if such is presented as rational- causing one to take something untrue and treat it as the ultimate truth.
In Tibetan Tantra, your thinking is a reflection of your brain, and these are a reflection of how blocked or unblocked your channels are. Obviously, these affect your body, for your channels correspond to your endocrine system, which deals with your release of hormones. Your central channels are a long network that runs from the base to the top of your skull and the chakras are placed along the way. The goal is to consciously wake each one – this process is not only physical but mostly emotional and somewhat rational (mind), as the body is an interconnection of all, and only in balancing it, do we get to touch on the spirit – which is not the same thing soul, but rather spirit is what you perceive at the moment of orgasm or any other state of bliss.
The greatest trauma we hold in our society is the belief that sexuality is something sinful, shameful, and dirty, and as such, it results in either being treated with contempt, with inertia or being abused in a desire to fight back- but in abusing self, one is simply compounding traumas. To discuss more on this trauma and how it affects us, it is important to touch on the "Amygdala" section of the brain. The amygdala is actually two, which lie on both sides of the brain (one at each side, left and right). You can think of the Amygdala as the regulator, the referee, the bouncer, and this bouncer deals with fear; so as fear is perceived through the five senses, the amygdala scrutinizes the level of risk and stamps a level on it which so as to further group these into patterns – what we call dendrite patterns, which will be associated to either pain or pleasure. So when you take something like dogma which is based on two opposite ideals, of which one is to bring ultimate pain and punishment, the reptilian brain will cater to that by doing anything to avoid feeling that pain. It does not mean a person consciously chose a path of self-knowledge, discovery, expansion, or liberation, but rather a path that avoids all these solely to avoid the fear of a perpetual hell – therefore, no actual coherency exists within that person. The choices made by such individuals are not based on pure motivation or illumination but on a desire to avoid pain. Religions and philosophies were meant to be keys, regulators between opposites, therefore diminishing the power of the reptilian brain and allowing more of the prefrontal cortex to be utilized in order to serve the channels within for our own expansion; however, over time, the purpose of religion and some philosophies was twisted and their own tools used against them, so as to subjugate people from recognizing their tremendous healing and creative powers that lie within. This is why, in Tantra, we say that when one meets someone rigid in their thinking, this is not an example of discipline nor virtuosity, much less of someone "evolved", but of someone who lives by the reptilian brain, which is the most basic of brains- that type of person is no different than the person who abuses themselves in the name of freedom- both serve the reptilian brain based on fear. Discipline and virtuosity are the ability to hold the two opposites, look at them, and find the correct balance to liberate one's spirit. This balance is very unique to each individual, for not two people are the same, to believe one equation fits all is no different than to try to cover up the sun with one hand – ultimately such belief and lack of cognition reflects a lack of understanding of the vastness of the Divine, for by believing that one formula for balance fits all, is to believe we were all created robotically, which would lead to further more complex discussions of philosophical and theological nature – why would the Divine create robots?....but that discussion would take us out of the current topic….
So what happens when an individual becomes rigid? As mentioned, the reptilian brain will serve out of the need to avoid pain, which gives rise to Nature vs. Dogma. The reptilian brain goes into a war of its own, which leads to incoherent behavior reflected in the individual. The body was created with the desire to connect, unite, expand, and utilize sexuality for it. So, while a person has a rigid self, that person's body starts to build up on its natural desires. As these desires are not met, they become urges, and urges are no longer based on pure motivation but on twisted ones – something healing and natural and constructive now becomes destructive, not because the body is bad, but because the individual made it so by his or her lack of understanding and congruency. Dogma will look at the urges and label them as bad, which they are, but will not take any responsibility for creating them by demonizing natural God-given desires, which had they have been met, would not turn destructive and divide the individual into a person who lives two lives (on the one hand the mask of holy as a reward for the sacrifice of the castrating of their natural desires. On the other hand, the urge to want to feel that ecstasy which the body knows as natural and which the spirit knows as its pathway) unfortunately once a desire has become an urge, it no longer serves as a path to connection or illumination…for the motivation is impure – not born out of love but anger and/or fear. Such incoherency leads to two outcomes: Hypocrisy or malicious criticism of those who do not fit in the same mold of self-chosen castration and rigidity. This is what we call counterfeit personality structure, and it truly results from trauma imposed by Dogmatic thinking….
This personality structure takes you away from your natural best self and into a place of contraries; distorting the filters you have on reality. This person, although able to have sex, is more often than not unable to experience ecstasy because he invertedly seeks to control or to avoid being conquered (different than control) out of fear of pain (dogma: sexual pleasure is bad) – their whole filter is based on the Trauma of being taught something is wrong with us for enjoying physical pleasure. Indoctrination through opposites is powerful, and it works because it utilizes the subconscious mind; while the conscious mind only processes about 4 bits per second of information, the subconscious mind processes about 11 million bits per second. Because indoctrination is repetitive, it becomes familiar to the mind; whenever "threatened" with something unfamiliar, it will fight to kick it out. Negative experiences create imprints on the brain in a way positive experiences don't because negative experiences imply pain and danger, and the brain will do anything to try to avoid those.
So how do we imprint positive experiences in a faster way? You must use the visceral process; this means learning to take it all in. In learning to enjoy each bit of the experience with deliciousness, we imprint new positives over false negatives. This is why Tantra focuses so much on not speed but knowledge of self and the ultimate succumbing to your own pleasure without guilt or fear (so long as it is not violating the rights of another). For example, someone looks at your eyes and tells you they desire you – you can't just go, okay, thank you. You have to let the words sink in, understand what they see in you, how they see you, and why you are desirable to them…not questioning it, but putting yourself in the place of your partner/lover….enjoy it, feel it, taste it….yes you are desirable in a loving way, you are worthy of enjoying the pleasure it gives you to feel desire and you have the right to experience that desire if you so wish – for again desire is not the same as urging- desire is based on loving motivation. You may not know your lover well, but you desire to know them as you enjoy each other; urges mean empty mutual sexual masturbation, where no wanting to care, love, connect, or admire the other is part of the equation.
Tantra is the art of mastering mindfulness, being present, and experiencing pleasure in a healing, positive way so it can imprint us similarly the way fear would, but for the better. Through mindfulness we quiet the body and cause the amygdala to relax. When you are relaxed, you are in a state of calmness that allows you to better manipulate the reality of your hormonal matrix, which affects how you see the world – for each cell is a living organism that you program by your thoughts. These days, we have the "woke" movement and "positive only" movement- the problem with those movements is that they are not dealing with reality. To imprint a new reality requires repetition, that is correct, but it does not mean avoidance of the reality you have already experienced; as mentioned before, the subconscious is very powerful; you cannot outrun yourself, and coherency demands you face it. So learning to enjoy and focus on what is good was never meant to equate to burying your head in the sand and avoiding anything that might trigger you – again, extremes never lead to balance. You cannot be "woke" if you need to run away from anything that may disturb your reality.
Now let's focus more on how pleasure can heal our reality…
Thus far, I have explained orgasm as a pleasurable genital result and the other component of it, which is the etheric orgasm, as a way of regenerating the body. It is hard for people from Western societies to understand that one can experience multiple orgasms without even touching the other person, just by etherically connecting with them or by connecting with our loving desire for them. Orgasms can be more than just one or two. A person connected with his or her center can spend hours in a state of orgasm, which, by the way, can take place once every eight-tenths of a second these types of orgasms don't occur as a peak and drop as genital orgasms do, but as waves – and you can sense it in the person's aura, for often they have an alluring aura without being animalistic, or an intimidating aura -without being rude. To those of rigid mind, the "intimidating" aura of a tantric or free spirit, can be perceived as uncomfortable; for two energies that cannot resonate will not connect. Often, the person who claims the other to be the one who makes them feel uncomfortable just by being themselves is the person who has been overtaken by the aura of the Tantric or free spirit- why? Because their resonance is higher per second than the dense aura of rigidity or superficiality. Most likely, the higher-per-second resonance individual will become the scapegoat- for human beings of low, superficial, or rigid resonance tend to avoid looking in; as such, it is easier to blame their discomfort than to become introspective.
When the individual is in a state of pleasure, it is easier for the brain dendrites (connections) to be altered; at that particular point, the brain is very much moldable. This means that if one learns to confront one's traumas and is working on healing them, one can use sexuality to do most of the hard work of breaking old connections and creating new ones. This, of course, requires CONNECTION, and for that, one has to come from a loving heart (it is not the same to be in love, the way Westerners know it. Love is vast and has many layers…but love is always love). When there is a loving motivation, one can experience sexuality as a path to healing. Often at the moment of climax, people with trauma tend to "fight" between what took place and what is taking place and risk flying away mentally. If at those moments, the individual has been counseled to slow the breathing, to go into a meditative state where one leaves the mind but stays in the body, enjoying each delicious wave, and if at that moment, one's lover says the right words (healing words), moves passionately but also with gentleness, the orgasm will go become an explosion that severs the old and rewrites the new. This technique is not only used on traumas but on anything one wants to let go, cleanse or focus on. What is required is rapport, motivation, the desire and commitment to succumb to pleasure and the Tantric circle, which is something I have written about before or which you can read more on within my book "Tantric Sexuality: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment" I will attach the links for it at the end.
We need to learn to take the same presence we experience when we are in fear and invert it so as to be present in our sexuality – to get there, we need to let go of stigmas that we need to earn pleasure. We need to re-learn that pleasure is something we can enjoy without questioning why. The body likes to get more of what it has been given…so if you give it only shame, it will seek for reasons to be ashamed all the time. If you subjugate to self-abuse, allowing everyone who wishes to enter your inner sanctum, it will seek paths to abuse itself, leaving you depleted. This is why I cannot stress enough why it is imperative to let go of false virtuosity, which cages or confuses sensuality, free sexuality, and feeling no shame of one's body and nakedness (loving it) with allowing others to abuse it. Balance is required, for either extreme is abuse. Your story may have started with pain and trauma, but you have the power to reconstruct and define your ending!
LINKS for "Tantric Sexuality"
Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CJXHXQFZ
Ebook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CJYLRD2D
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