Lenard Cohen once sang, "Hey, that's no way to say goodbye," lamenting a failed relationship, and Paul Simon suggested, "Hop on the bus, Gus." Relationships, whether exciting or otherwise, are not all destined to be everlasting. While there are valuable lessons and personal growth in every relationship, life inevitably involves experiences of being both the one ending a relationship and the one being ended. With this in mind, let's explore a peculiar theory circulating in the lifestyle.
Some individuals in the D/S community propagate the notion that only the dominant holds the power to end a relationship. This belief is often expressed through a submissive 'asking to be released,' with the dominant having the authority to decline. Unfortunately, some dominants subscribe to the idea that a submissive possesses no voice, no vote, no rationale, and regrettably, no means to conclude or exit a D/S partnership.
Let's entertain the idea that this theory holds. In such a scenario, a dominant's life would be remarkably uncomplicated once a submissive offers their submission. There would be no need to invest in the relationship, no concerns about fostering closeness each day, and forget about earning their submission daily. Understanding what makes the submissive happy becomes irrelevant. No heart-to-heart talks are required, and on a bad day, ordering the submissive around suffices, back to the kitchen to make nachos and fetch beer because the game is starting. A dominant could comfortably relax on the couch in sexy sweatpants, issuing orders without a care in the world because the submissive cannot leave. The ability to dismiss a submissive at will would be a dominant's ultimate power move. And if one grows weary of Suzie Submissive's salmon, just send them packing; Nathan Newbie and their lifetime supply of Nutella are ready to step in.
As I write this, a thought occurs, this fictional dominant would probably know and use my favorite "Southern" word, sensuous, as in "since-u-was making nachos, gemme a beer." No, it is not a statement about dominants; it is just a whimsical observation inspired by the example.
Another consideration arises: what happens when a switch and a submissive or two switches are in a relationship? Some days they can break up, and other days they cannot. That would undoubtedly lead to a confusing breakup scenario.
In reality, relationships demand effort, extensively so, from both dominants and submissives. Finding that perfect, lifelong connection involves good old-fashioned trial and error. A dominant can recognize that a relationship is not the right fit and gracefully exit, just as a submissive can realize 'it is not you, it is me' while making a graceful exit. A submissive holds the right to end a relationship at any time and for any reason, just as a dominant does. One's role in the lifestyle does not dictate who holds the authority to initiate a breakup, the reasons behind it, or when it may occur. If you find yourself in a submissive role, resist being sold this notion; understand that if you are unhappy in a relationship, you have the right to free yourself, communicate your feelings, and terminate the relationship.
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As with all of my thoughts, please see this disclaimer.
©TLK2024
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