one of the greatest lessons i've had throughout my academic years is this idea that—and while this is something mentally healthy people with lack of childhood trauma might take for granted—when something bad happens, it doesn't equal my whole life is bad.
that is, little parts of life are just—little parts of life. and, perhaps even, that life is greater than the sum of its parts.
whenever i had roadblocks in my projects, anxiety toward big exams, or dilemmas in facing big decisions, my whole outlook on life used to become entirely bleak as well—as if my whole life is falling apart along with the bad things (little—in hindsight—bad things) that just so happen at that moment.
all my mind wanted to think was, if i can somehow get past this thing, my entire life will become bright again. but as long as i haven't done so, it's all grim.
either that, or i completely escape all that terrifying thought by distracting myself with something else like video games or other forms of entertainment (read: anesthesia).
everything becomes all or nothing; and in effect, my life comes in swings of extreme sorrow (and extreme joy, when i actually got past those things). (so guess why i got diagnosed with bipolar disorder!)
i do wonder if this is unique to traumatized people or it's more of a universal thing we all experience regardless of our childhood. or, more likely, as with other forms of biases, it's a universal thing but particularly made complicated by trauma.
nevertheless, simply having more experience with life, is one of the greatest ways to heal from this mental pitfall. the more obstacles, anxiety and dilemmas you've gone through, the more you appreciate how all these things are just parts—smaller and smaller parts, as you progress further—of life. and eventually, you'll reach some point(s) where you become (more and more) comfortable with—and still having access to the idea that this, too, shall pass when—facing adversities.
there's no clear cut point where you suddenly become invincible to life's adversities; it is more of a continuous, gradual bettering and brightening of your outlook on life; i believe even the most experienced individuals still feel those angst—they're just much more comfortable sitting with it without freaking out.
life is never as great as you wish it to be, but it's never as scary as you imagine it to be.
things will get better on their own;
imagine how even better it'll be,
when your mind also believes that things will get better.
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