Pst. Ngozi Asoya x-rays some of the obnoxious treatments meted out to widows in Nigeria and proposes social action to fight against this degrading treatment of grieving widows in the country.
Widows may undergo various customs after the loss of their husbands, including shaving their heads, consuming water used to wash the husband's body, mourning for three to twelve months based on ethnic traditions, facing limitations on inheritance rights for land and property, refraining from bathing and cleaning during the mourning period, with occasional bathing permitted in rare cases.
Robbed of Her Husband's Property
Vanguard newspaper cartoon highlighting cruelty against widows
Chioma Odilinye, a young widow from Asaba who married Onyebuchi Odilinye from Ogidi, endured mistreatment at the hands of her late husband's brothers and sisters-in-law. After her husband Onyebuchi fell ill and travelled to India for surgery with his elder brother Hyacinth, Chioma was unable to reach her husband again. Hyacinth informed her they had returned to Nigeria but refused to let her speak to Onyebuchi or provide his location.
This is how she summarized her treatment in the hands of her brother-in-law: "My husband fell sick sometime last year and it demanded that he would be flown to Indian for an operation. He left to India in the company of his immediate elder brother, Mr. Hyacinth Odilinye. I spoke with my husband in India and he told me the operation was successful, and that they will be back in a few days. I called again but nobody was picking my calls and after other trials, I discovered the number has been unavailable. I was forced to try my husband's Nigeria number which went through and I spoke with his elder brother, Hyacinth who told me that they are back from India and are now in a referral hospital in Abuja. I asked to speak to my husband but he wouldn't allow me on d reason that he was so weak to talk"
unsafe buildings are the habitation of widows during mourning
Meanwhile, Onyebuchi's younger brothers Emenike and Chukwujekwu claimed the couple's seven trucks had been impounded by police and demanded the ownership documents to release them. Unaware that her husband had actually passed away, Chioma provided the papers. Following Onyebuchi's funeral, Hyacinth and his sisters locked Chioma, her mother, and her young son in a room in their Ogidi village until she signed over the documents to the house she and Onyebuchi had built in Lagos.
They are often isolated during mourning
Although Chioma refused to hand over the documents to Hyacinth's sister Ebere upon returning to Lagos, Ebere threatened retribution. According to her, "After the burial and funeral of my husband, Mr. Hyacinth Odilinye with (his) sisters in the village at Ogidi in Anambra State, locked me, my mum and my son up in a room (insisting) that the only condition for our release was upon handing over of the documents of the house I and my late husband suffered to build in Lagos." To be freed she agreed on the intervention of some villagers. "Their sister Ebere followed us back to Lagos to collect the document". But, the widow resisted. Soon after, Hyacinth called with his own threats against Chioma's life if she did not comply. On multiple occasions, motorcyclists appeared at Chioma's gate to fire gunshots.
Chioma then pleaded for assistance in recovering her stolen property and protection from her brothers and sisters-in-law who endanger her safety.
The above is an example of how Widows are treated by some communities in Nigeria.
Drinking Water Washed From the Corpse
Another inhuman treatment that women may face from time to time is the drinking of water washed from the body of her late husband as proof that she had no hand in the death of the deceased. According to a Vanguard newspaper report, "There was an outrage over a complaint from a widow in a community in Ihiala Council Area of Anambra State, who alleged that she was being forced by the family of her late husband to drink the water used to bathe her husband's corpse to prove her innocence."
Although many traditional rulers denounce this practice as inhuman, some communities continue to practice it.
Widows are closely monitored sometimes to ensure they cry loud enough
Shaving of hair
In some communities, widowers are also expected to do this in the same way as the women. However, the men are mostly allowed to do it of their own free will. It's not the same with the women compelled to do so by force.
Jacksonville Free Press reports the case of a widow, Rose whose husband died of liver failure. After so much expense to save her husband, the man died. She was subjected to several humiliating treatments but in the final days of her mourning ritual, Rose endured further humiliation according to local customs for widows. The day before concluding the rites, elder widows paid Rose a visit instructing her to shave her pubic and underarm hair and to clip her fingernails, saving the clippings to be presented to them the next day.
Degrading haircut of widows' hair is rivalled by a public bath.
At the subsequent gathering, the elders shaved Rose's head smooth and stripped off all her clothing. They burned her hair and garments in front of her, then demanded she bathe on the spot to purge the impurities of widowhood. Despite her protests over the public bathing in broad daylight - after standing exposed for over 12 hours - the elders insisted Rose undergo the ritual cleansing according to tradition. She acquiesced if only to complete the ordeal.
Social Media Assistance to Fight Inhumane Treatment of Widows
The battle to humanize widowhood processes should concern everyone. From experience, some of the treatments are merely concocted as punitive measures against women who were considered heady or hostile to in-laws while the man lived. Most of the inhumane treatments I have personally observed are tampered with in favour of wives considered to be favourable to in-laws or considered a safe bet. Therefore, it is recommended that social research be intensified into the biases of mourning, the separation of tradition from cruelty and more social medium involvement in the funeral rights suspected to elicit high emotions and tensions to expose the perpetrators of wickedness in the guise of tradition.
Conclusion
There are occasional instances where widows are transformed into poverty with the demise of their breadwinner. The mental health of widows is so brutalized that some of them fear to remarry; yet that would have the balm they need to be able to transit from their despondency. We should therefore be concerned about how widowhood has become an instrument of tyranny. Should it be permitted to continue? That's a question for you and me to answer.
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