Depression By David Bock

accordingtohoyt

Dec 1

Depression By David Bock

As the title implies, this article is going to be more serious than what I usually post.

I've struggled with depression most of my life. By the time I was 18 I'd gotten through almost a decade of therapy, this helped quite a bit and I learned some good coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, depression is never something that completely goes away and the blue devils are always waiting at the edges for me to let my guard down.

I'm not alone in this. A great many people suffer from similar issues of varying severity and we all have our own ways of dealing with the internal darkness. Some healthy, some less so, and some tragically permanent.

This was where I was from childhood all the way through 2019 and leading up to the year that shall not be named or its sequels. Over the past few years I've taken some severe emotional blows. A number of people reading this know about some of them.

So if this is what I'm dealing with now, when the lights go on with the flick of a switch and the internet is there to distract me, what am I going to do if things get really bad? Not just for me, but in general.

What I'm not going to do is give up. That's not in my nature. Will I have the occasional pity party? Of course, I'm a human being. But I'll find reasons to carry on. In a survival situation we can't afford to wallow in self-pity. We have to get up and get to work to ensure we see the next day. This can be very hard even in "normal" times.

To get me through the tough times, I have resources and abilities. I spent more than half of my life without the internet or cell phones, I can get used to going without them again if need be. I've been involved with a couple of living history groups over the years and they taught me valuable skills, these experiences also helped me add to my reference library. If we're sheltering in place, I'll still have access to my books and my tools. Regardless of where we are, I'll also have my wife and our cats, they are four reasons to get up every morning no matter how much I'd rather stay in bed with my head under the blankets.

In August of 2011, we survived Hurricane Irene, even though our house was the worst affected in our town and the DEC considered ruling it uninhabitable. My wife and I lost a great number of things and the financial hit was significant, but we carried on and we were there for each other.

Which leads to my next point, one of the best resources we have to keep us going is other people, our tribe. Friends, biological family, or family of choice doesn't matter. Be there for each other, be kind to each other, help each other through the rougher patches and we'll all be stronger on the other side.

If you have, or know anyone who has, worked the AA program, you'll be familiar with the phrase "One day at a time." Dwelling on the past or over thinking about the future will interfere with living in the present. The general meaning is to focus on shorter term and smaller goals to help eventually achieve longer term and larger goals. When we can't control most of what's happening around us, we can focus on what we can control.

Having a routine helps. Make lists, keep the items on them achievable, but don't get too granular. Try to start each day with a small success, it can help set the mood of the day. One of the things I try to do every single morning (unless a cat interferes) is make the bed. Is it a little thing? Yes, but it gives me a minor dose of endorphins from completing a task and makes the next one that much easier.

As Harra Csurik said to Miles when he visited Silvy Vale in the Lois McMaster Bujold book Memory "You go on. You just go on. There's nothing more to it, and there's no trick to make it easier. You just go on."

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