RelationDigest

Monday, 25 December 2023

Is it possible to be disciplined without being perfect?

Site logo image nelacanovic posted: " Not just possible — it should be a goal! Striving for perfection (and trust me, I know what I am talking about) is not what you think. On the outside, we may want to come across as the kind of person who knows what to do, who has everything fig" Nela's Blog

Is it possible to be disciplined without being perfect?

nelacanovic

Dec 25

Not just possible — it should be a goal!

Striving for perfection (and trust me, I know what I am talking about) is not what you think.

On the outside, we may want to come across as the kind of person who knows what to do, who has everything figured out, who is exceptional at their job. But that's optics. It's a story we tell the world around us.

Because on the inside, we may be scared and even terrified to make mistakes, we may be full of self-doubt about what can happen if we make the wrong choice and proceed in a direction where we're bound to slip up and fail.

So what should one do with this perfection thing?

Let. It. Go.

If you don't, you'll remain in the same mode of trying to catch up to some impossible image of what things should be. Or could be. Or must be — just because others have done it (or claimed so).

Instead, use your time to practice self-discipline as a tool to improve in something important to you.

You can do this in three ways:

Turn every obstacle into a playground.

It's highly likely you will encounter obstacles in every area of your life, from professional to personal and social interactions. Instead of blaming an obstacle for not letting you reach a short or long-term goal, make it work for you. Treat it like a playground where you get to practice. Give yourself space in this playground to look at the obstacle from all different angles. Ask yourself how can you turn it into something useful for you. Find out what specifically you can learn from the obstacle that you didn't think of before. Keep an open mind.

Avoid the blame game.

The blame game is a game you play in your mind where you start focusing on someone or something else (in other words, an external force) that controlled the situation and didn't allow you to succeed. As soon as you start blaming, you start allowing emotions to take over — you may feel angry, hurt, resentful, sad, despondent, or even hopeless. It's absolutely OK to acknowledge all those feelings, but instead of taking action based on the feelings, try to look at the situation from a logical point of view. Be honest. What happened that may have contributed to your failure? Write down all possible reasons in a list, whether they're very small or super big. Then, ask yourself how you can avoid making mistakes next time. By doing this exercise, you're exploring ways to improve as opposed to wallowing in blame and negativity.

Understand that new things don't have to be scary. If your professor or boss recommends that you use a new resource to track your work, don't immediately label the new thing as unnecessary, bad, or a time-waster. Obviously, it will take a bit of time to figure out how this new thing works. But the feeling of discomfort at not knowing what to do will not last long. Ask yourself, how can this resource (textbook, database, app, tool) make my job easier? What are the advantages? Where can I go to find out more about how out works? When I get better at using it, how can this expertise help me reach a bigger goal?

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