If you could do anything in the world, what would you do? There was a time when I would have said that I would want to travel. To me, that sounded like paradise–having adventure, excitement, experience.
On one of our family trips down to Florida, we were asked to sit through a marketing session for vacations and timeshares. Our kids were fairly young, and it sounded really amazing—wonderful resorts, beautiful scenery, fun things to do and see–I was so tempted to sign on the dotted line. Fortunately, my husband was not such a soft sell, and we did not sign on the dotted line.
Seven months after Sean died, our family took another trip to Florida. We went in the month of March. I remember thinking in the cold, wintery months of January and February–that I just had to hang on until March, and then I would be in sunshine.
That trip did help get us through that winter. But I learned a really important lesson on that trip–I was still taking "me" on the trip, and "me" was really grieving. The trip could only do so much–it did provide a measure of escape–but I could not escape from myself. I could not escape from the fact that my son was dead.
We went to Sea World on that trip, and every sight was a reminder that Sean was not with us, and he would have loved it all.
The realization that a "trip" could only do so much really helped me a great deal. I used to long for trips–thinking that they would be the key to happiness and fulfillment. Now I know they are not.
In fact, realizing that has helped me find a measure of contentment. When Covid hit, and travel was very limited—I was content.
Even now, when I think about traveling, and going to many places—I don't have the motivation I used to have. I know that the trip is not going to bring me that which will fill me.
"Don't love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you." Hebrews 13:5
Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can't take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. 1 Tim. 6:6-8
I love these verses, because they tell me what my heart knows to be true—things, trips, money–these things and the desires for these things will never satisfy me–but God–He will, He does, and He is the only One who can.
May We Be Encouraged.
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