By Raianna Shai
It's a fine line to balance your healing between deep inward feeling and outward clear currency. To dive deep into emotion means to be so honest and transparent with yourself that each part of you gets to feel every single thing that comes up for them. Whether it's fear, joy, grief, peace, sadness, relief… it's all so sacred and needs to be felt in its full capacity.
There's a common fear in that deep dive though that you'll never make it out of the heavy emotions. That you'll be stuck in this void of depression and sorrow - trapped in your own inner hell. What I've discovered for myself is that not going to these places also causes a hell inside. Constantly invalidating and pushing down these feelings that will always be there until they're addressed, felt and loved. When they aren't felt, they come out sideways through reactions that we don't totally understand. In anger, frustration and feeling inadequate or unworthy.
This is where the other side of the line is so important. There needs to be a bigger energy in the space to hold these deeper feelings. The divine, your higher self, something that can be even just a little bit bigger than the hopelessness. Something that brings air to the container that you're holding for these parts of yourself. As this bigger energy holds these deeper emotions, a clarity and confidence starts to arise.
From there we find sobriety, truth, transparency and a deep claim of our parts and our relationships to others. In my recent process I've felt a mix of my inner teenager, shadow queen and inner punisher and how they all relate to one another. I learned how much my inner punisher and shadow queen were both suppressing and being suppressed, unable to express their truth to me and others.
As I deeply felt all three of these parts I started to feel a release and relief. Clarities started coming through, more truth was allowed to come out, more air entered into my entire being and all the despair and sobbing in that process became so worth it. I'm still in progress with this but so many layers have shed already.
We can try and go under or over the feelings all we want but the ONLY way to move it is through. Allow the feelings to take you on a journey, to change you from the inside out. You end up becoming so connected to your parts that you will do whatever you can to provide them the love and relief they desperately need. Choosing this depth of feeling is choosing to finally LIVE. And each time I make that choice to live and not let my soul or heart die, I become that much more whole and connected to my soul purpose.
I hope that you decide in this moment to choose to live ♥️
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Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and community member of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.
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