(Nimue)
The human mind is a fragile thing. We're easily broken, far more easily broken than anyone who hasn't experienced that might want to believe. Pain and suffering are inevitable in life, but being broken by those experiences isn't. What's key in this isn't the strength and fortitude of the individual, but what happens to us when things go wrong.
When the system is unjust and our suffering is upheld by structures we are obliged to deal with, we are more vulnerable to breaking. Capitalism does this to all of us. If you experience something horrendous, the necessity of staying economically active will deny you the opportunity to heal in the most effective ways. The threat of poverty obliges to many people to endure toxic workplaces. The reality of poverty causes huge stress and distress.
When distress is met by minimising and shaming, it's hard to recovery. Internalised guilt, victim blaming and a lack of available resources all contribute to making it harder to recover. Modest problems left undealt with turn into massive problems. The cumulative weight of many small setbacks can become crushing over time.
Many of the things contributing to poor mental health call for dramatic change. Poverty, work stress, insecurity and the many impacts of climate chaos all need dealing with politically and on a global scale. In the meantime though, we are not powerless.
Every small kindness is meaningful. Anything we can do to support, comfort and nurture each other is worth doing.
Affirm the right to rest, heal and recover. Recognise that people may not be allowed to do so – don't blame them if they can't, but make sure you aren't one of the people adding to this.
Recognise that anyone will break under enough pressure. Be kind to yourself, be kind to others and don't blame the sufferer for what is done to them.
Talk about the pressures you face, support others in talking about their struggles. We won't change any of this without acknowledging what the problems are.
Don't be tempted to celebrate working yourself into the ground, working unpaid, burning out or anything else of that ilk. Do not be persuaded to take pride in these things or to feel inadequate if you aren't busy killing yourself for someone else's benefit.
Celebrate the things that are restful and restorative. Don't denigrate anyone else's harmless fun, try not to undermine what others take joy in even if it isn't for you. Let people have their small pleasures. Don't shame people for things you think are silly, trivial, low brow or pointless. Let them have whatever comforts them.
(It's not the small joys that are wrecking the planet, it's the private jets, yachts, etc).
Affirming, supporting and encouraging people gets more done than criticism and knocking down. No one saves, fixes or even helps anyone else by demoralising them. Be kind, and you can give people space to sort themselves out. Letting go of the idea that you have to change, improve and save people is also a good way of being kinder to yourself, if that's something you struggle with.
Human minds can be desperately fragile things. When we take care of each other and support each other, our collective strength and resilience can be powerful indeed. Our best resistance against what's harmful lies in kindness and taking care of each other. We do not have to be willing participants in causing each other harm, even when the systems surrounding us lend themselves to that. We can choose not to compete, not to put others down, not to make unreasonable demands of each other and not to shame each other for being human.
Mental healthiness is something we're going to have to build together, and is something we can create.
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