Elisa A. Escalante/ LCSW/ 09-05-2023
I will start by saying that I didn't quite understand that racism was still an issue until I was about the age of.... 14. Why? I was in an all African american (well 99%) school from Kindergarden to 5th grade in South Houston, and honestly, the kid's treated me very well. My biggest bully, was in fact, the only other light skinned hispanic girl at my school. (Looking back it makes sense now) Fast forward to High school, (I had been living in SoCal Mojave desert since the 6th grade) I was mandated to be grouped up with two white kid's; a boy & girl. As I sat there in a private group with them, our desks lumped together, I was then subjected to hearing one of the most racist conversations of my short little life (at the time). They both happened to be 'white supremist' kid's and they went on and on about judgements they had regarding African american hair, and said some things about how "They are so different from us". I went into a sort of mental shock/ freeze mode. I was appauled. I was scared of the boy but later on I had a conversation with the girl about this because I already knew of her. I expressed to her that what she said, was in fact, racist. She proceeded to tell me "Yeah, I know I am... but I can't help it... it's how my parents raised me". I never talked to her again.
Of course, this keeps happening. We grow up and we live and learn. And we go though various schools, various job's, various aquaintanceships and we hear the micro aggressions again and again. We have our moments where we stand up for the minority, and we have some moment's where we may freeze due to shock. It's shameful at times. I hate that it's something that even has to be addressed. It's even MORE awkward, when I hear my patient's talk with racial undertones, micro aggressions, or even full blown stereotypes. And it's just pitiful, when I hear mental health profressionals talk this way. Of all people, I do hold higher standards for other social workers. I cannot help it, I mean we have a code of ethics for crying out loud. So in today's blog I am going to share some of the more prejudice, biased, racist and/ or stereotyping comments I have heard through the years: in sessions and in the mental health work section. (I'll include sexism & homophobia as well)
"Ever since I moved here, I notice there's black people everywhere.... (She moved from a Mid western state to South Queens, NY) So... many.... black people everywhere...." (She proceeded to cry and then have a panic attack)
"Since you are leaving and I need a new provider, can you make sure it's another white lady? I don't want a black lady like me to be giving me therapy...." Me: 'Um... okay may I ask why..?' Her: "I don't want someone with anger problems like me to be bossing me around."
"I mean I don't see why people are so angry about the George Floyd situation. What do you expect when someone is a criminal and walking around with saggy pants or playing loud aggressive music? Naturally that's going to disturb people... right?"
"I'll never get with a black woman ever again."
"I'll never get with a Puerto Rican women ever again."
"I'll never trust a Black man ever again."
"Me and my Veteran and cop buddies are going to make a Gun line and not let anyone through our area unless they belong there! We aren't going to have them destroying our town!" (An elderly white Vet referring to BLM protestors/ he also happened to live in a primarily caucasian neighborhood in South Brooklyn) Me: "And how exactly are you going to Vet people??" Him: Silence. (That was the end of that convo and luckily he did not go through with that horrendous idea.)
"When I approached the reception desk I was already mad because I noticed that she was this little Islander or Indian woman, I don't trust them."
"I'm not okay with the military getting rid of 'don't ask don't tell'. What am I supposed to tell my kid's if a gay couple shows up to one of our family functions? It's not in the bible!"
"All women are prostitutes. They either sell themselves for sex, or marry someone and have sex with them for other things like food or resources. So, they are prostitutes."
"They are taking all of our jobs..." (referring to Mexican immigrants)
"They're Dominican, and I'm Haitian. They are never going to like me. I record them almost everyday at work just in case they want to harrass me... I'll have proof."
"I F$#@ing hate Egyptian Men, they are all assholes. I'm never going to get with one of them."
"Elisa, work with the Jewish population, that's where the money is really at, plus they don't have 'real' problems. It will be a 'cush' job."
"What if the gay's want to grab my junk when I'm in bootcamp?! We can't have them in the military."
"It's ghetto around here. And I am the only light skinned person in my neighborhood. They all want to sell me drugs!" (A former crack addicted client)
"Seriously you went to China Town during the pandemic?? They gave us Corona virus, don't go around them!"
"You can send your kid referrals my way. It's important that they have a church/ spiritual influence in their counseling appointments. Because now a days, the LGBTQ agenda is trying to spread pedophilic teachings to our children."
"The only reason it's still an issue {racism} is because people keep talking about it." (Or.... do maybe.... people keep talking about it because it's still an actual problem...? Just food for thought.)
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