This past year I memorized Psalm 23. Had gone a bit dark and needed the Psalmist, particularly this one, to bring some much needed light. The first verse is some freakin' magic, at least to me.
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."
Most of my waking moments are filled with wanting. I want this thing. I want this person to do this. I want my body to feel a certain way. I want my family, friends, and clients to do this, that, and the other thing, you know. I want control, always have. Always will. This verse knocks me over and somehow steadies my wobbly legs. Does both.
I'm not the freakin' shepherd. I am weakASS sheep. I need The Lord. Humbling and honest. Once I accept this truth, instead of feeling less, I am filled to overflowing. What more could I possibly want, right. So, each morning, I remind my sorriness everything I need is already mine. I thank God for His rod and staff and the comfort they intend. I still desire. I still want. I still worry. I still fight for control. I still forget whose I am and get bent about you knowing who I am. A perpetual work in process. God, help me remember whose I am. I shall not want. God, help me keep striving and stop struggling. God, help me NOT want. God, help me.
Live hard. Love harder…
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