RelationDigest

Saturday, 30 September 2023

[New post] Lorraine

Site logo image VJ posted: " Remember how we foughtat four and five -over whose turn it wasto push the baby buggy? Your Campbell soup baby facelocks curlier than mine;  eyes a brighter sparkle How you withdrew from me with ageashamed you mother was an alcoholic -I did" One Woman's Quest

Lorraine

VJ

Sep 30

Click here to listen to an audio clip.

Remember how we fought
at four and five -
over whose turn it was
to push the baby buggy?

Your Campbell soup baby face
locks curlier than mine;  
eyes a brighter sparkle

How you withdrew from me with age
ashamed you mother was an alcoholic -
I did not care, carried my own secrets

How you chose drugs to cope,
while I went straight – the line
too wide to cross, it seemed.

You were my roots, dear friend
the rock I needed to ground me
Life, back then, never easy

Secrets tore us apart – projections
of judgments never actualized
somehow, I never measured up

I see you now, shrouded in the mist
of my own grief, understand that your turmoil
ran deeper than I had known, and one day

when we meet in Heaven,
I will embrace the whole you
and we will laugh at how secrets

whose very disclosure would have solidified us
kept us more and more distant – so little
did we know of love at the time.

(Lorraine died at the age of 26 - complications from drug use. After her death, I learned that she was a lesbian, a secret that she thought she could not share with me at the time. She had not known that I would not have judged her. Sadly, we never had the chance. I loved her so.)

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