(Nimue)
Gratitude for the cool mornings that speak of the autumn to come, for the cheering voices that make up the dawn chorus outside my home, for the spider on my wall and the trees beyond my window.
Gratitude for days that start gently, in warmth and companionship, with tenderness and sweetness. Gratitude for a life rich with love and joy.
I've always paid attention to the small things, and to the details of everyday life that bring joy. Small beauties and everyday magic are worthy of celebration, and most of our lives are made up from these little, everyday things. Embrace those daily wonders and life is richer and happier.
There have been a lot of years when doing that also felt like surviving on a diet of crumbs. Always hungry, never sufficient. I tried to double down on the gratitude, but there's only so far that can take you. The harder you have to work to find things to be grateful for, the less satisfying it is.
These days I wake up grateful for the blessings of good sleep and a body that feels rested. This is a huge life shift for me, and is helping with healing, reduced body pain and better mental health. Grateful for kind words, warmth, generosity and being treated with care. Looking back at things that never felt like enough, and acknowledging that there was every reason to feel that way. Gratitude in face of insufficiency is a lot like gaslighting yourself and it isn't a good path to take. Being grateful for the crumbs that don't sustain you when you are starving is not a good place to be.
Gratitude is a natural, easy response to joy, beauty and abundance. Sometimes what we have to do is push through our own jadedness to be aware of what's good in our lives. Sometimes what we need is more goodness. Counting your blessings is a really good thing when you have blessings to count. In a life that lacks joy and abundance, no amount of trying to be more grateful will actually increase what you have. It isn't easy to tell what's going on if you aren't feeling blessed. Some of us default to asking more of the world, and some of us default to asking more of ourselves and we can all be wrong about that.
Today the sun through the window feels good on my skin. I'm glad of opportunities and adventures, of the richness in my life and the many things that bring me joy. I don't have to try hard to find things to appreciate. I'm deeply grateful for all of the small, good things that I am blessed with every day, and for the enormities of goodness that have come into my life and changed everything for me.
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