Humans need to belong. 10,000 years ago, it was fatal to not belong to a group. Punishment for upsetting the group was banishment and almost certain death. So humans have evolved to want to belong to a group, even though for the most part today group membership is not a requirement for survival. To belong we must signal to the group that we are one of them. If that signal is too easy, that might let imposters into the group. There needs to be some cost associated with the signal. Costly signaling shows "I am willing to incur a cost to show the group I can be trusted, and I am one of them".
Costly signaling happens in all parts of our society. I surf, and to belong I must provide some form of costly signaling to show I am a real surfer, and not a poser. Going down to the local Rip Curl surf shop anybody can buy some board shorts and surf branded t-shirt. This has minimal cost, and while they may look the part, it will soon become obvious once they paddle out that they are a kook. The costly signaling for surfers in being out in the water on a big day. Even getting out through the shore break without drowning is "costly signaling". You belong. Then a big set wave comes, and you are in position. Everybody is looking at you. You turn and paddle. You make the drop. You have signaled to the group you are one of them at some cost to yourself (possibility of injury or worse!) Photo above of me two years ago doing my best at costly signaling.
The Mormon Church is full of costly signaling. We need to show others we belong. For men, wearing a white shirt and tie is costly signaling. While the cost is minimal (sore neck from the tie), you have signaled you are willing to give up comfort (the cost) to belong. Other forms of costly signaling include
- Bearing your testimony in front of the congregation.
- Going to the temple
- Cleaning the chapel on Saturday
- Volunteering for an activity
- Paying tithing
- Singing in the choir
- Accepting a calling, the more visible the more costly
- Speaking in Sacrament meeting
While some of these are done without others knowing, we've all seen and heard people announce to the conjugation they just got back from vacation and then lists all the temples they visited (we have one in our ward). Or they bear testimony of tithing, and then tell how they pay more than 10% to get more blessings.
What are some of the ways you signal to others you belong to a specific group? What are the examples of costly signaling you see in the Church?
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