This statement first appeared on Facebook, written by Dr Charlotte Naylor Davis. I wanted to share it (with permission), because it's important stuff. David and I have both responded.
"The response for us all when allegations of sexual abuse arise in our communities - church, metal, comedy, steampunk, pub, whatever - should not be '' do I believe this?" or " I can't believe this happened."
But rather always "what are we doing to create a culture where it can't happen here?"
If you know you've done what it takes for something like that to be unlikely then you can be shocked.
I do want my church and gig spaces and conferences to be safe for survivors of abuse but more than that I want them to be unsafe for perpetrators of abuse.
Abusers go where abuse seems easy and they create environments around them where they won't be challenged.
Lets create cultures and communities where abuse is called out.
That takes effort, and understanding power and responsibilities and I'm here if you want to talk about that."
David: Sexual abuse always seems to occur where and when there is an imbalance of personal power.
My own experience of it was as a schoolboy, fifty years ago. Then, twenty five years ago, my eldest daughter told me that one of her teachers was "creepy". I believed her. She stayed away from him in every place except in his classrooms, in his subject, and she stayed safe. Only a year or two after she moved up into the sixth form that teacher was caught in a police net with sexual images of children on his home computer, arrested, and imprisoned. I'm sorry for those children he harmed, but at the same time I'm glad my girl was confident in her own intuition and in our parent-child relationship.
So, it continues, generation after generation, and I believe one important way we can prevent it is to believe what people are telling us, people with little or no power in that particular environment, what they're telling us about people who do have power there. What happens as a result will differ in different circumstances, but it's vital that we listen to them and believe them.
Nimue: For me one of the key things is tackling small infringements. The sexist jokes, casual misogyny and low level inappropriate touching. When these things are allowed and normalised you have a space that is making even more serious abuse feasible. The smaller infringements are hurtful and damaging too and discourage women from participating. Actively building your community on principles of respect and consent helps everyone to stay safe.
Zero tolerance works. I've experienced robust community responses to lines crossed and it's effective stuff. I've also seen communities ignore problematic behaviour, and that deepens power imbalances and isolates victims. If you show people that some of them can expect sexism and unwanted body contact if they want to be in your space, you are already working to normalise and facilitate abuse. The thing about these lower level infringements if that they will happen in front of you - that's how they are normalised. You'll see them, and if you ignore them you become complicit. Changing the culture means not playing along with it.
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