By
Noel Ihebuzor
"If anyone wishes to come after me, he/she must deny himself/herself
and take up his/her cross daily and follow me".
(I have deliberately squeezed in feminine gender pronouns in the excerpt – no irreverence meant – as some of you may know, I work for a very gender sensitive organization!)
Yes, if we must become true disciples of Christ, we must each carry our cross and follow Him. He carried a heavy cross for us….and won a crown of glory.So, Carry your cross, earn your crown, No pain for God, no Gain with God.
Question is – what is this cross? I could be wrong but I see the cross as having multiple manifestations and evolving as we go through the challenges that everyday living throws at us. Your cross could be a bad wife, a pub crawling husband, a spend thrift gambling husband, a reckless son, a daughter on drugs, a sick partner, a son who has done what he should not do, an aging mother, a brother on a sick bed for prolonged periods, a health condition that you are living with, an adolescent son who gets the neighbor's daughter pregnant, an unfair boss, a physically abusive wife who beats the hell out of you, a foul mouthed and ungrateful husband, an erratic sister, an impossible and difficult mother in-law (an outlaw in your opinion, no doubt), an intrusive and noisy neighbor who believes that his latest home studio is best enjoyed at high volumes at 0500 hours, a control freak of a father who meddles in every detail of your life, and the list is endless. Your responding to these persons and the problems they throw at you with dignity, love, care, tolerance, compassion and prayerfulness difficult as this may be is the true essence of carrying one's cross for me.
But I also think it is also important for me to stick out my naive neck and say what I think we should not confuse carrying one's cross with. We certainly must not confuse it with self-imposed prisons we often lock ourselves up in when we are prejudiced, our self-inflicted difficulties as a result of errors that arise from our sins of pride, our unwillingness to forgive a hurt, our unwillingness to move beyond a relationship that onced boomed but that has now died, our hatred and rancours, our jealousies – deep and petty, our obsessions,…and I can continue. "I hate him with such intense passion that the mere thought of him simply spoils spoils my day"…."Oh She ruined my life the day she walked out on our relationship and I will never ever forgive her or ever trust women again" are not crosses…they are obsessions, which often atrophy to neurosis unless they are checked. Indeed we must pray to be freed from these – for they stand between us and God. They distort our vision and cloud our judgments and cripple us physically, spiritually, emotionally, socially and mentally – they are not crosses, they are obstacles in our race to salvation and to our living full and abundant lives on earth here as we run the race.
Carrying one's cross would involve self denial, helping others, doing your duty, serving with an open heart, understanding pain, showing empathy, helping those in sorrow to come to terms with their sorrow, reaching out a helping hand, forgiving others, conveying positivity, accepting your problems but looking up to God in prayerfulness, asking for His Grace and for a spirit of understanding, for a spirit of forgiveness and tolerance, yes for the gift of tough love. we must also pray that God should also give the opportunity to be like Simon of Cyrene – so that we can also help someone carry His or Her cross. And these Simon de Cyrene gestures need not be that dramatic – They could just be gentle word, the soft touch on the shoulder, the genuine smile of compassion…But these things are not easy, we all need critical perceptual shift and fundamental attitudinal adjustments to to begin to these things beyond just mere short lived dramatics and attention grabbing theatrics. But with God all things are possible – and I pray that He grants each one of us the ability and the willingness to carry our crosses and also to help others carry theirs. Let us have a spirit of prayer (Petition suggests something legal, so I prefer prayer) and spirit of Grace. With God's Grace, everything is possible – we approach him recognizing our weaknesses and knowing an believing that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. But we must first show that willingness to carry our crosses daily. So, biko, jo-o, Bend down, carry!.No cross, no crown. No pain, no gain!
Noel
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