Pan Goatee Beheads Fat Ugly Blimp In 7/Eleven Store

Dracul Van Helsing

Aug 1

If Pan Goatee ever married, this is what his family would look like.

Not your typical contemporary 21st Century Calgary looking family.

Here we see the union of beauty and intellect and not the union of moronic imbecility and repulsive ugliness.

World famous genetically created satyr Pan Goatee was dreaming that he was happily married.

Then he woke up and discovered that it was all a dream.

"I'm not of this planet," Pan Goatee mused aloud, "I'm a sojourner in a very strange land. Where only morons and uglos are allowed to procreate according to the dictates of mad scientist Dr. Anthony Fauci and the Norse trickster god Loki. The designers and builders of the Georgia Guidestones obviously used hallucinogenic drugs of the worst possible vision inducing visions."

Pan Goatee walked to a nearby 7/Eleven to see what they had on sale.

While in the store, he encountered a very repulsively ugly fat ugly aboriginal blimp.

Of the variety favoured by Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Norse trickster god Loki and the moronic imbecilic Native American deity Head Smashed In Buffalo (from whom Head Smashed In Buffalo Jump Canyon in southern Alberta takes its name).

The fat ugly aboriginal blimp undoubtedly had for a name in either Cree or Blackfoot She Whose Face Looks Like A Cow .

Pan Goatee pulled out his astral laser machete, beheaded the fat ugly aboriginal blimp She Whose Face Looks Like A Cow and cut her up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond pieces.

Napi (who is the demiurge creator god in Blackfoot tradition - a sort of Blackfoot equivalent of the Logos demiurge in the works of the Ancient Greek philosopher Plato) appeared on the scene and said, "I did not create fat ugly blimp She Whose Face Looks Like A Cow. This was the work of crazy old Head Smashed In Buffalo . Head Smashed In Buffalo is crazier than Crazy Horse . Head Smashed In Buffalo bet on General Custer to win at Little Big Horn against Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull. Head Smashed In Buffalo lost his buffalo fur coat to Little Beaver . Head Smashed In Buffalo then exposed his naked buttocks to the world for many moons and many winters. The only ones happy over the sight were gay Jesuits who flooded the Badlands of South Dakota with their semen. And speaking of gay Jesuits, I hear the Sodom and Gomorrah friendly Jesuit priest Father James "Jimmy" Martin is opening World Youth Day today in Lisbon Portugal awaiting the arrival of sodomite Communist Pope Francis (whose name in Lakota Sioux roughly translates as He Who Speaks With Serpent Forked Tongue )."