RelationDigest

Thursday, 3 August 2023

[New post] Let’s Drop the Idea

Site logo image Lilly S.D. posted: " Image Source: Pexels "Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows." —David T. Wolf In an "ideal" world, justice would seem within reach. Bad things would never happen to good people. The corrupt would stay poor. Defo" Seeking Soulful Exploits

Let's Drop the Idea

Lilly S.D.

Aug 3

Image Source: Pexels

"Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows."

—David T. Wolf

In an "ideal" world, justice would seem within reach. Bad things would never happen to good people. The corrupt would stay poor. Deforestation would remain a myth. Life rarely reflects an ideal situation and with cumulative experience, most of us pensively garner wisdom on this subject. And yet we continue to idealise the world. Idealise people. Idealise situations. We expect people to function robotically. Speak and move in a personally biased manner. Why the apparent need? Why are we insistent on claiming a far-fetched fantasy as a reality? Why do we aggressively seek after hallucinations of people and situations that ultimately disappear into a cloud of smoke?

Wishful thinking is what we have all experienced, and naturally so. When we are younger, our little minds reach out for bigger dreams. Everything is attainable. We have our checklists prepared for the future. We have the perfect man/woman visualised in our minds. A perfect home. A perfect job. Nothing seems amiss. Life just had to unfold every other day for our wishes to manifest. Please don't get me wrong. It is advisable to have an action plan. To be meticulous and organised. We would only live in chaos and destruction if not. But the point is, many of us don't evolve after having experienced reality. We continue to live in our figurative bubbles and set minds, hoping for the world to get accustomed to our idealistic ways.

When it comes to romantic interests and friendships, we all have our tastes and preferences. But would expecting our partner to be a supermodel pushing it? Would having a friend be at your beck and call without consideration be ideal? Sure, many would love to marry or court someone with broad shoulders, a rugged look and a mesmerising voice. But isn't there more to life? At least, I believe in a life partner who shares mutual values but has his own individualistic decision-making and approach to life (bonus, if you have the above-mentioned ideals; I am not complaining!). A bond in which both can grow while remaining authentic and respectful of each other's needs and wishes. Being of a certain height, weight, colour and look doesn't cut it, at least in my opinion. Allow people to be what they are. Give them time to unravel themselves with you. Understand them and make a decision accordingly. You would be surprised at how great a person they might turn out to be. In an unconventional, realistic manner altogether!

The reality is we are all going to experience disappointments at certain junctures. Either we would be on the receiving or giving end. Injustice would be served even to the righteous. People might get away with doing wrong. But for how long? Tables do turn. Maybe not immediately, but in due time. All we are asked of is to remain patient and vigilant. Slippery bumps would veer us in a whole new direction. We might be required to don a new personality. Misfortunes would be part and parcel of life. However, there is much more to behold. We still need to move forward and do what is right. Giving up isn't the solution, nor is vengeance. It is possible to work towards ideal situations and people only if we are willing to make the necessary changes that attribute a realistic, healthy approach and mindset.

"Idealism leads to realism if it is strictly thought out."

—Ludwig Wittgenstein

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