Have you heard about the monkey business? If not, I will tell you. It goes thus…
A man walked into an area with lots of monkeys and declared to be buying monkeys. Monkeys presented no economic worth to the natives and were often regarded as a nuisance as they destroyed crops. The natives considered this as one of the best deals of all time, as they wished to have a program that could help them get read of these destructive hominids.
Therefore, when this seemingly Godsent stranger announced that he would purchase a monkey at 50 bucks each, the natives thought he was out of his mind, and they grabbed the opportunity. Monkeys were hunted, and the village started thriving, with everyone commanding a few hundred dollars.
After two months, the same investor returned and announced that he was buying monkeys at $ 200. The village was stirred, and people began hunting the almost extinct primates. With higher motivations, the people combed the area clean leaving no trace of monkeys and felt that they had succeeded in dishing away their troublers and making life out of it.
All along, the investor had been caging his monkeys and had left his assistant to be in charge. After his second mega investment, he made a lucrative announcement that he was leaving for the city and would come back in three months to buy a monkey at $500. Unfortunately, there was no anymore monkey. So the people were stressed. In their desperation, the assistant in charge of the caged monkey made an offer to the villagers. He announced to be willing to sell a monkey at $350 and advised those who knew about it to hush it and avoid making it public knowledge.
Those who got wind of the story found this a good investment. They were excited to make a clean profit of $150 from each monkey when the big man returned from the city. Those privy to the information took advantage and bought several monkeys each at $350 a monkey. Many people sold their lands and invested in monkeys hoping to make windfall profits. Two weeks to the end of the three weeks, the assistant had sold all the monkeys, and the village was in a mode of anticipation, waiting for the big man.
The assistant asked the people to start registering as they would need some orders, owing to the gainfulness of the coming sales. Unfortunately, the assistant disappeared in the final week at night, and the villagers never saw them again. They remained with their monkeys, and the investors made a clean $100 per monkey from them. And this is monkey business.
Unfortunately, the monkey business has changed clothes and jumped into the market targeting modern investors.
Have you ever been scammed? If you have never been scammed, you should be grateful and read this article to the end. Scammers do not only succeed with dumb and over-ambitious people. Smart people are being duped into ventures that turn out to be bags with holes. Don't ever think of yourself as too smart to be duped. To clarify, I have been conned a reasonable amount of money, so you could have reasons to be more careful with deals that look too good to be true.
The big question that I seek to answer in this literary work is:
How Do You Discover A Monkey Business?
People are likely to be in monkey business when they:
- Work With Auto-generated Templates
Someone DMs you with their name and asks if you want to make $100 a week working from your phone. They then ask you to type INTERESTED if you want to proceed with their offer. After declaring an interest, four paragraphs of pre-written guidelines follow and take you to a different step…
It is obvious this is not meant for you alone. They are doing deep sea fishing, going with everything that falls into the net. If you can't see personalized communication based on real-time thought, think well through that transaction. You may be in for your next chapter of lamentations!
- Create Unwarranted Urgency
Monkey business thrives in pressure and duress. They won't give you much time to balance your right and left brain. They push you into a corner and want you to decide in real-time. The reason for this is simple; most people do not reason at their best when under pressure.
Scammers take advantage of your indecision and force you to decide faster and with less information. Later, when you sit down and reason things out, you realize your money is gone, and you are obviously duped. The shame and the surprise at how stupid you were will make you go silent with the scam, as everyone will see you were really dumb.
Refuse to make decisions under duress for any investment. Take time to think it through. Have some glucose before you think well and make a sober decision.
- Continuously Reminds You of the Legitimacy of Their Hustle
Have you seen people posting some hustle on their social media and continuously claiming it is a legit business/venture registered under a certain State department or agency? There is something fishy here.
A concern about legitimacy should answer a question and not be made a point of sale. Think twice if you see them ranting legitimacy left, right, and center. They are sanitizing a monkey business.
- Flaunt Success
In practice, rational consumers tend to keep low with their success. Hard-earned money comes with some discipline when it comes to spending. You may not even be employed if you were to judge based on lifestyle audit.
This is not so with merchants of monkey business. They are desperate to make heads turn their way and notice a change in their consumption patterns. An inordinate sudden spirit of consumerism is a sure bait trap to make people fall victim. Avoid people who suddenly start looking flashy and cannot clearly explain what they are doing or use their lifestyle change to lure you into their schemes.
- Make Their Financial Receipts an Open Book
Considering people who make their finances an open book disingenuous is a good assumption. What I mean by this is that they keep posting on social media continuous receipts showing monies they claim to have received.
People who do legit business don't even want us to know they are on payroll. You can notice they have received money through a boost in their consumption patterns and not by a paycheck. Do you know how much your dad, a civil servant earns? What about your wife, husband, or friend who recently got employed?
As a rule of thumb, don't transact with people who flaunt their paycheck… They are master scammers!
If you follow these guidelines, you may be safer and avoid mental agonies and financial distress… when I think of my KES 5000 that I blindly gave away to that back-to-school hogwash
… I zip up and take a low profile. Monkey business is real. Be on your guard.
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