RelationDigest

Thursday, 27 July 2023

[New post] When “they” Ain’t the Boss but Neither are You

Site logo image Steve Keating posted: " I like people who understand what being a leader actually means and yet they still want to be a leader. Those people are willing to invest a part of themselves in helping other people grow and succeed. While they may make a living by leading, their prima" Lead Today

When "they" Ain't the Boss but Neither are You

Steve Keating

Jul 27

I like people who understand what being a leader actually means and yet they still want to be a leader. Those people are willing to invest a part of themselves in helping other people grow and succeed. While they may make a living by leading, their primary goal is to make a difference. A difference in their organization, I should add a positive difference, but even more importantly, a positive difference in the lives of the people they lead. 

I'm much less fond of people who merely want to be a boss. You know, those people who want power and control over other people. They often have oversized egos and most everything they do they do with an eye towards how it will benefit them. Those people are hard to work for but it's even worse working with them. That's because even though they have no real authority, or often, no ability, they act as if they do. 

They frequently try to bully people into doing what they tell them to do. They insinuate that "one day" they will be the boss and they will remember who did what they were told and especially remember those who didn't. The veiled threat is intended to coerce compliance and often, it works. 

Working with people who think they are the boss but aren't can be downright maddening. But unfortunately it happens so it's essential to find effective ways to navigate the situation professionally. Here are a few ideas to work in that environment without looking uncooperative, resistant and less than a team player.

  • Regardless of their behavior, treat them with respect and professionalism. Avoid engaging in power struggles or arguments, as this can escalate tensions.
  • Try to understand why they may feel the need to assert authority. They might be compensating for insecurities or trying to gain recognition. Empathy can help you approach the situation more constructively.
  • While being respectful, assert yourself when necessary. Be confident in expressing your thoughts and ideas, and never let their behavior undermine your own sense of worth.
  • Clearly define your roles and responsibilities to avoid confusion. Politely but firmly remind them of your position and authority when they overstep their bounds.
  • If you face ongoing issues, consult your actual supervisor or even a higher authority in the organization. Explain the situation calmly, focusing on how it affects your work and the team dynamic.
  • Avoid confrontations in public or heated environments. Find a private setting where you can discuss the situation calmly and rationally.
  • Emphasize that everyone's objective is to work toward the success of the team or project. Redirect the focus on achieving the best outcomes rather than power dynamics.
  • Collaborate with other team members and colleagues who may be experiencing similar challenges. Unity can create a supportive environment that challenges inappropriate behavior. But remember, "collaborating" doesn't mean whisper campaigns full of complaining and rumors. If your collaboration doesn't include solutions to the problem then you're likely not helping anyone. 
  • Keep a record of any problematic encounters or instances where the individual oversteps boundaries. This documentation can be useful if you need to escalate the issue later.
  • In severe cases, involve a neutral third party or HR representative to mediate the situation and find a resolution. Don't think for a minute that this is a gutless solution. These "bosses who aren't bosses" can be a cancer in an organization and there's no need for you to play Don Quixote and try to "fix" the situation on your own. 
  • Demonstrate leadership qualities in your own actions and decisions. Be someone others can look up to, irrespective of their perceived authority.
  • Use the situation as an opportunity for personal development. Learn from the experience and find ways to improve your own communication and conflict resolution skills.

People regularly can and do lead without a position of authority. They use influence, not coercion to lead people in a constructive and positive manner. They have the best interests of other people at the heart of everything they do. If you're wondering in you're being led by a leader without a position of leadership just ask yourself "what's in it for them?" If nothing comes to mind they are likely leading. 

If you're wondering if you're being bossed by a "boss who ain't a boss" ask yourself the same question. It should take about a second to develop a list of everything that's in it for them. And helping others is very unlikely to be on your list. 

Remember that working with challenging personalities is part of professional life. Maintaining your composure and professionalism is crucial for your own well-being and career advancement. Never surrender control of your attitude or professionalism to a less professional person. Because it's those two attributes that will eventually help you persevere. 

Comment

Unsubscribe to no longer receive posts from Lead Today.
Change your email settings at manage subscriptions.

Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser:
https://stevekeating.me/2023/07/27/when-they-aint-the-boss-but-neither-are-you/

WordPress.com and Jetpack Logos

Get the Jetpack app to use Reader anywhere, anytime

Follow your favorite sites, save posts to read later, and get real-time notifications for likes and comments.

Download Jetpack on Google Play Download Jetpack from the App Store
WordPress.com on Twitter WordPress.com on Facebook WordPress.com on Instagram WordPress.com on YouTube
WordPress.com Logo and Wordmark title=

Automattic, Inc. - 60 29th St. #343, San Francisco, CA 94110  

at July 27, 2023
Email ThisBlogThis!Share to XShare to FacebookShare to Pinterest

No comments:

Post a Comment

Newer Post Older Post Home
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Culture War Über Alles

By making the culture war central to its politics, the New Right is once again aping the Woke Left. ͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏    ...

  • [New post] Wiggle Kingdom: April Earnings on Spring Savings!
    Betsi...
  • [New post] Balancing the ‘E’ and ‘S’ in Environment, Social and Governance (ESG) crucial to sustaining liquidity and resilience in the African loan market (By Miranda Abraham)
    APO p...
  • Something plus something else
    Read on bl...

Search This Blog

  • Home

About Me

RelationDigest
View my complete profile

Report Abuse

Blog Archive

  • August 2025 (43)
  • July 2025 (59)
  • June 2025 (53)
  • May 2025 (47)
  • April 2025 (42)
  • March 2025 (30)
  • February 2025 (27)
  • January 2025 (30)
  • December 2024 (37)
  • November 2024 (31)
  • October 2024 (28)
  • September 2024 (28)
  • August 2024 (2729)
  • July 2024 (3249)
  • June 2024 (3152)
  • May 2024 (3259)
  • April 2024 (3151)
  • March 2024 (3258)
  • February 2024 (3046)
  • January 2024 (3258)
  • December 2023 (3270)
  • November 2023 (3183)
  • October 2023 (3243)
  • September 2023 (3151)
  • August 2023 (3241)
  • July 2023 (3237)
  • June 2023 (3135)
  • May 2023 (3212)
  • April 2023 (3093)
  • March 2023 (3187)
  • February 2023 (2865)
  • January 2023 (3209)
  • December 2022 (3229)
  • November 2022 (3079)
  • October 2022 (3086)
  • September 2022 (2791)
  • August 2022 (2964)
  • July 2022 (3157)
  • June 2022 (2925)
  • May 2022 (2893)
  • April 2022 (3049)
  • March 2022 (2919)
  • February 2022 (2104)
  • January 2022 (2284)
  • December 2021 (2481)
  • November 2021 (3146)
  • October 2021 (1048)
Powered by Blogger.