RelationDigest

Monday, 31 July 2023

[New post] When Its Time To Say Goodbye To Our Furbabies

Site logo image Brenda posted: " Photo by Binyamin Mellish on Pexels.com No-one likes to see their loved ones (animal or human) suffer. However, from a distance its easy to say that if we could, we'd do whatever we could to end their suffering. Today, I'm exploring how likely it is " Wise & Shine

When Its Time To Say Goodbye To Our Furbabies

Brenda

Jul 30

adult chocolate labrador retriever lying on brown and white striped textile
Photo by Binyamin Mellish on Pexels.com

No-one likes to see their loved ones (animal or human) suffer. However, from a distance its easy to say that if we could, we'd do whatever we could to end their suffering. Today, I'm exploring how likely it is we can do this.

Its easy to say what we'd do if we were in that situation. However, recently watching a neighbour walking her dog got me wondering whether our objectivity disappears in practice. My argument is that its difficult to say goodbye, focusing on our needs rather than those of our loved ones.

A neighbour and her dog

Recently, I was looking out the kitchen window while making a cuppa, watching a woman and her dog returning home. Their tenement has 3 steps up to the close (the common entry and stairwell). From watching my neighbour, it was clear that the dog was struggling with the steps.

Tenement housing in Buccleuch Street
Tenement housing in Buccleuch Street by Trevor Littlewood is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

Just so you can see what tenement flats look like. These are very common in Glasgow and the West of Scotland, and typical of where my neighbour and myself live.

A canine struggle

The dog might be fine on flat surfaces, but its clear when watching him, that he really struggles with the steps into the close. He is reluctant to climb the steps. Its more than just not wanting to return home as he's not behaving in a typical way of a dog wishing to stay out. The poor dog just stands still at the close door until, eventually with a lot of coaxing, he moves forward very slowly, one paw in front of the other, and with the help of his owner, starts climbing the steps. Using a harness on the dog, he is lifted up each step in turn. She takes his weight with each step until he's in the close. I don't know if they need to climb more stairs once inside but this looks like an ordeal for the dog.

Its good to see the aids that are available to support animals , but I wonder how much they still suffer. I'm making a lot of assumptions about the health of this dog and how much pain he is in.

My own experience

short coated beige and brown dog
Photo by Vladislav Tsankov on Pexels.com

Watching my neighbour with her dog reminded me of Sheba, my own pet growing up. She was a German Shepherd dog (GSD). In particular, thinking about when my mum had to have her put down when I was about 26. Sheba had been struggling for quite a while with her hind legs, finding it increasingly difficult to move. She must have been in constant pain. One morning mum came downstairs and Sheba's back legs had given up completely. She was unable to move, stand or go outside for toileting. It was only at this stage that the decision was taken to put her out of her misery.

For me, it was painful to lose our loyal family pet, but it was more painful to see her suffering. I must admit I always felt she should have been put down earlier. Sheba should have suffered less. By this time we, the children, had all left home. As she was living alone, I believe mum couldn't let Sheba go. Understandable, but selfish motives.

Interpretation of situations

Now as I watch my neighbour with her dog, I am wondering how much suffering we make our pets endure because we are unable to let them go, to say goodbye. We are putting our own needs before those of our beloved pets.

I appreciate this raises lots of emotional and ethical questions. It is not ever easy to say goodbye to a loved one - pet or person. I do think, however, that its important to consider what's best for our loved ones rather than selfish motivations. I know its easier to say this however than to actually put into action.

Conclusions

People who don't have pets or don't hold attachments don't understand why we get so attached to our pets. Our pets are part of the family. That fact make decisions about end of life care and treatment for all loved ones, including animals, so challenging.

I appreciate this is an emotive topic which will create lots of reaction. If you want to read more of my work, I can be found on my personal blog. I'd also encourage you to sign up to Wise & Shine, if you've not already done so.

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