It's hard when everyone around you is happy, and you feel as if your life has been blown apart. Not only do you feel shocked, and frozen and disoriented, but you also have to put on an act, when it feels impossible to put on an act.
So, how do you cope in situations like these?
1. If at all possible, limit the amount of time you spend with groups of people; and also at celebrations and social events like parties and weddings.
2. Before you leave for a social event, take time to centre and ground yourself.
3. Think through in advance, safe topics you can talk about. These should be topics which are general and banal, and which you think are unlikely to be triggers for you. This allows you to take control of the conversation by talking about, or asking questions around, these more comfortable subjects.
4. Identify in advance, people you think will be safer and easier to talk to. These might be less exuberant and confident people who are not going to want, or expect, you to be high energy, or exciting company.
5. Limit the amount of time you spend with people you tend to find tiring, demanding, or difficult in some way.
6. Have an escape route – a way of leaving or getting away – if it all begins to feels too much to handle. Even if it is just means retreating to the washroom, and staying there, for a while.
7. If the situation starts to feel intolerable, give yourself permission to leave. You can always feign a migraine, or some other kind of sickness. The important thing here is that you put yourself first. You need to prioritize your own mental wellbeing.
"She made a promise to herself to hold her own well-being sacred."
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